Perfect Doesn't Last Forever

Chapter Eight

            I’d spent my entire life doing what I thought was expected of me.  I did everything my parents wanted me to do and I did what I thought was right for my daughter.  She was mine and she belonged with me.  I stayed with Damien because he was Hayley’s dad and she deserved a family.  Being with Noah wasn’t expected.  Getting engaged to Damien was expected to happen sometime in my life because it was the responsible thing for us to do, but I didn’t want to do what was expected of me anymore.  I was so worried about what was going to happen with Noah because I didn’t know what was supposed to happen anymore, but there was one thing I was absolutely sure of.  I loved him. 

            “What?” Noah said, almost tripping over himself.  “What was that?”

            “Did I say that out loud?” I whispered, looking up at his confused, yet hopeful expression. 

            “I don’t know, what did you say,” he challenged me; wanting to make sure he heard what he thought he heard.

            “Ummm, can we go inside first?” I asked him, pointing at the long driveway that led to Hudson’s mansion.  “I’m going to freeze if we don’t get inside soon.”

            “Okay,” he said, grabbing my hand and eagerly speed-walking up to the house.  The second we reached the front porch he ran to retrieve the spare key from its hiding place and opened the door as I slowly trudged up the stairs.  “Come on, I don’t want you to freeze!”  He waved his hands through the door before giving up and herding me into the house. 

            The warmth was so overwhelming I tried shrugging my jacket off as Noah directed us upstairs and into the room we were staying in.  He settled himself on the bed and sat expectantly, looking at me with the most pleased expression I’d ever seen on him.  His lips were pulled up at each side, revealing a few laugh lines in his cheeks, and I could tell he knew what I was going to say and it was obvious he was trying really hard to contain his excitement. 

            “So about what I blurted out,” I started, sitting on the bed next to him.  “I’m pretty sure I know what I said, but if it was too early to say it, I can totally take it back.”  I knew he was bursting with happiness and even though I was ready to commit to him, I didn’t want things to move too fast. 

            “Oh no, I wanted to be the first one to say it, but I wasn’t sure if you felt it, so by all means go right ahead,” he said smartly, taking my hands in his.  “Do tell me what you said.”

            “Okay,” I paused, taking a deep breath.  “I love you.”

            I could barely finish my sentence before he pulled my lips to his and kissed me passionately.  Matching his desire, I scooted closer to him and climbed into his lap.  I was careful not to push it any further, because I was sure that I still wasn’t ready to have sex, and I knew Noah could read my signs.  He kept his hands resting at my waist and kissed me a little longer before our breaths got too heavy.  “I love you too Brittany.  I love you, I love you, I love you,” he repeated, kissing my cheeks and nose. 

            I heard myself giggle like a little school girl, flattered by his affection, and quickly kissed his lips.  “But Noah, even though I love you, I’m not ready to have sex yet.” I needed to say it before anything got to hot and heavy.  He deserved to know because it would be unfair to him if I stopped him every time. 

            “Are you joking?” Noah sighed, moving me off his lap.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t just want sex from you, but explain to me how you aren’t ready.”