4, war in my mind

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Charlotte's life - or death - in the afterlife was something she absolutely hated

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Charlotte's life - or death - in the afterlife was something she absolutely hated. Most days, she simply stayed in bed. She didn't need to eat or shower or change, those things didn't exist in the afterlife. She'd absolutely die for a bar of cadburys chocolate, yet she couldn't have any.

You'd think, that reuniting with her mother and best friend would be perfect, but it wasn't, not with the hell Charlotte was going through. She had a war in her mind.

Every part of her begged for some sort of peace. How could there be peace without Harry? Her heart ached with every beat, and there was nothing in the whole entire universe that could change her suffering, it was permanent. Lottie envied Harry, because although he lost her and she knew it would be hard, he had the ability to move on, he had the ability to find a new happiness.

Charlotte couldn't.

She was trapped. Trapped in a house that lived forever, a house that would never change until a new person joined.

The house was calm, it was nothing like Lupin Cottage. There was no Coco to bark at wild animals in the garden, there was no freshly baked pies from Hope and there was no handyman activities being played out by Lyall.

It was calm, so incredibly calm. There was no Erin rushing about trying to destroy lives, there was no homework to do last minute, there was no James running around with a new prank to pull on Sirius or Remus. There was no Theo lighting cigarettes on the top of the astronomy tower, there was no Alex saying the silliest of things that makes people want to slam their faces into the wall.

Charlotte hated change.

The separation between her and everyone she has ever cared about was destroying her, so much so that not even the daily conversation Kaycie would try to make with her helped. The sixteen year old didn't know whether she was supposed to spend the rest of eternity forgetting about the people she loved, or clinging onto the memories of them. The war that was taking over her mind was such a struggle, should she just try to let go? Force her emotions away and refuse any thoughts of them? Or should she hold those memories close to her, and never allow herself to think of anything else?

"Afternoon," the raven haired girl said as she slipped into Lottie's room. She did it every single day, Charlotte didn't know what time she did it, Charlotte had zero sense of time in the house.

Lottie closed her eyes, they were damp from tears and the lump in her throat refused to allow her to speak. She was still unsure as to whether or not Kaycie and her Adelaide were simply a figment of her imagination, she didn't want to talk, she wanted to reminisce in her pain alone.

"You know," Kaycie said quietly. "We know what you're going through. I know...I know I made the decision to go, but Merlin if I had know that I'd spend my days cooped up in a house I would've had hundreds of second thoughts, I wouldn't have gone through with it at all."

𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘, book 3Where stories live. Discover now