Girl You Fucked Before (18+)

Addison Miller All Hot And Bothered

It's perfectly natural to be slightly turned on. You are only human, after all. But it's Matt. Grim Reaper and King of Gloom and Doom. Strangely bizarre and unusually weird. Arousal and him are two things to never mix together in a sentence.

Pushing him off, I straightened out my cropped jacket. "Unless you're looking to lose a limb or two, I suggest never touching me like that again."

He furrowed his brows as he grabbed a rag off the counter and stooped to wipe up the water droplets that had sprinkled onto the floor. "Then I suggest not starting what you aren't prepared to finish."

He glanced up at me and I gripped the rim of the sink as I noticed for the first time how grey his eyes could be. "I...I gotta go. Clean up your mess."

With that, I sprinted from the back room, all the while reassuring myself that getting Addison Miller all hot and bothered was as easy and as common as taking a breath. It's no big deal.

November

Vanessa

As the first frost of late autumn began to spread its icy veins across my dorm room window, I fell deeper into despair. The nights remained long, and my arms felt empty without Matt curled up inside of them. Even the monotonous routine of waking up, going to class, and then staying late at the library studying proved to be of little distraction.

Even Quinn was becoming insufferable. I could only drown out her constant chatter for so long before I had to fake sleep, even if it was only eight-thirty at night. Which is why Thanksgiving weekend couldn't come fast enough.

I woke up the day before break with a spring in my step, the morning dawning sunny and clear. Tossing whatever clothes I laid my hands on first into my duffel, I tuned Quinn out as she gabbed on and on about her holiday plans.

Too busy fantasizing about making love to my boyfriend again, I paid her no mind until she mentioned his name. "Are you excited to be seeing Matt again?" She inquired, pushing her glasses back up on her nose.

I smiled, turning my gaze onto the picture of him and melting instantly at his grin. Now this is a topic I can get behind. "I am. He's picking me up from the train station this afternoon."

Quinn sighed dreamily as she stared all doe-eyed at the photo of us. "How romantic. I wish I had somebody that loved me that much."

And then I can ruin it for you as you did for me and Aaron. Alright, enough. Reign it in, Vanessa. "It is nice," I replied, tossing my university sweatshirt into my bag alongside the matching one I had picked up for Matt. "But it's hard having him live so far away, you know?"

She nodded vigorously. "Oh, for sure. He's super cute but to be honest, I think I probably would have broken up with him if I had been in your shoes."

I whirled around to eye her. "You would? Why?"

She shrugged as she picked at a loose thread on her comforter. "Don't get me wrong, he seems like the perfect catch but, Vanessa, think about it. You're in college in New York. Don't you ever feel as though staying with your hometown boyfriend is holding you back from really experiencing all this life has to offer?" She gestured around at the concrete walls which consisted of fairy lights and Harry Styles posters on her side and cold barrenness on mine.

"You're only here for four years," she continued. "That's nothing in the grand scheme of things. Don't you desire to make the most of it?"

Pausing, I gazed out the window at the frosted city line and cars crawling along jam-packed streets in the distance. Will I only end up regretting the time I spent holed up in my dorm room crying over pictures of my boyfriend instead of going out and experiencing Frat parties or pulling all-nighters studying for an exam because I was too busy getting lost in the wonder of the city during the day? I'm in Manhattan for heaven's sake. Shouldn't I be living it up? How many people would kill for this opportunity and yet, I'm just throwing it away?

Sighing, I resumed my focus on packing and zipped up my duffel. "I understand what you're saying but I love him, Quinn. Our relationship barely even had time to get off the ground before I came here. I at least want the chance to see where it leads."

She walked over and clasped me on the shoulder, looking me in the eye. "All I'm saying is consider it. Maybe being single isn't the right choice for you now but realistically how long do you think you can keep up this charade of an idea that the whole long-distance thing is going to work? Do you really want to be miserable and missing him for the next four years or would you rather just rip off the Band-Aid now and be sad for a couple of months until you meet the next guy?"

Shaking my head, I shrugged her off. "I don't know what the next few years will entail, Quinn but I do know that I spent way too long dreaming of the day that we would be together to willingly walk away from us just like that."

I knew that there were plenty of people who would be envious of getting to attend school in New York but weren't there also ones out there who wished more than anything to experience the love I already had? Either way, I would have been sacrificing something so why not stick with the choice that made me truly happy? And at that moment, it was Matt.

Who is Quinn to decide for me what I want?