(EQ): Explained By An Average Idiot

An Emotionally Intelligent Lade

Can people feel their hearts beating when they're upset/emotional (not physically)?

At any moment in time, there are dozens of active neurotransmitters that act as chemical messengers firing off in the brain. While there are no single chemicals responsible for love and hate, or peace and turmoil; our emotional states are ultimately controlled by varying levels of different chemicals (e.g., serotonin, dopamine, adrenaline, and oxytocin) within the brain which fluctuate in response to different external and internal stimuli. This means that our emotions are physiological in nature, which is why different feelings can produce physical symptoms. Like an elevated heartbeat when we're anxious, nervous, or scared. Or a slower pulse when we're relaxed.

It's important to keep in mind that your habits when responding to emotions can also influence your physical body. If you hold your breath when you're scared, your heart will start to beat faster in response because the less oxygen that's in your lungs, the faster the heart needs to pump to supply your body with the remaining oxygen. The same goes with yelling - requiring more air to be pushed out of the lungs, while retaining oxygen-rich air for less time means the heart will need to beat faster to supply the body with oxygen - and increasing physical movement, where your heartbeat will also increase as your body uses more energy.

The heart is an involuntary muscle, which means that no matter how hard we concentrate; we can't make it stop or start by thought. That's why one of the number one suggestions for coping with intense negative feelings like anxiety and anger, that often have physical symptoms - like an increased heartbeat, is to practice conscious (or counted) breathing. Conscious breathing promotes a healthier heartbeat and also helps us process and regulate our emotions; it can also help us regulate our responses to them.

I am feeling a lot of intense emotions coming up, what are some ways I can process and release them?

Research in biochemistry and neuroscience suggests that human beings experience the "feelings" (the internal chemical interactions) of a new emotion every three seconds. The factors in these studies are boundless, for simplicity- imagine that some of your emotions arise from physiological stimuli, while others arise from mental stimuli. Which again, can be sub-categorized.

(Step one) Identify what you're feeling, make a list, and use a logic-tree to decide if it's a primary, secondary, or tertiary emotion. This will help to identify which feelings are arising from physiological factors, and which feelings are arising from psychological factors.

(Step two) Now that you have a better idea of where these emotions are coming from, try accepting that some of these feelings are just a part of being human, and even though it feels like you have no control, don't sweat it! Remember- emotions are static, and they change with or without our permission. Let yourself be a human being.

(step three) Now go through your list of emotions that are arising from a more psychological place. Determine which feelings cause more harm than good, and then do some self-searching to learn how these emotions develop from your thoughts, and belief systems. You might find that you have just-cause for holding on to some negativity, however, you might also find that many of these negative emotions are stemming from accepting harmful belief systems - whether these belief systems were taught/learned, or whether you've built them yourself from your experiences, reorganizing your beliefs and practicing conscious meditation on your thoughts and feelings can tremendously help in cognitive restructuring.

(Step four) There is no step four, just give this time. Be diligent and disciplined, and don't rush through to get immediate results. And if you're struggling to make sense of the things your bringing to the surface, don't panic: There's always someone willing to listen, or to give you a fresh perspective when you get hung-up on something.