IZZYSAURUS

Prologue

Slash sat in the driver's seat of the little green oldsmobile, Izzy beside him. It was three in the morning and rain lashed against the windscreen as they pelted along the road, making their way to Izzy's apartment. Each bump in the road jolted the drowsy Izzy back awake and Slash lit up a cigarette as they turned the next corner.
"So Izz?" Slash said
"Hmmmmmmm" Izzy whacked his head against the window accidentally as they went through a pothole
"Jesus man- you're more then tired. How much have you had to drink?!" Slash glanced over at his friend, who was idly tracing the water droplets on the other side of the passenger window pane with his finger. He looked around at Slash.
"Uhm. I'll 'ave a Jack." Izzy slurred.
"No you won't. No more alcohol for you." Slash replied, frowning, his attention now back on the road.
"Mmmm hm." Izzy groaned in agreement. "Take me home?"
"Yep. That's where we're going Iz." Slash told him. Izzy giggled.
"Are you okay Izzy?"
"Yeahh." His eyes crossed so he looked like he was looking at his nose and he giggled again,
"Oh man- look at that huge cupcake." Izzy pointed straight ahead down the road,
"Um... are you okay, Iz?"
"I love it when it rains like this. You can never have enough smarties." With that, Izzy rolled down the window and stuck his head out, trying to catch the raindrops in his mouth. He cupped both hands and put them out too, catching water on them.
"Izzy- get back inside the fucking car!" Slash cursed and tugged his friend's shirt. Izzy sat back down and shoved his cupped hands towards Slash.
"Want one?"
"One what?" Slash was beginning to feel flustered,
"A smartie!" Izzy said, as if it was quite obvious, moving his cupped hands a little closer to Slash.
"Um- no thanks." Slash said, pushing Izzy's wet hands away from his face.
"Suit yourself." Izzy shrugged, and then buried his face in his hands and made obnoxious munching noises.

Little did the two men know, over at a top secret research centre on the outskirts of California, something had gone terribly wrong. T-rex genomes which the scientists had been experimenting on had accidentally been knocked to the floor by a stray chimpanzee, Huki, who had gotten out of his cage. The genomes had then trickled across the floor and under the door of the lab, across the hallway outside the lab and through a crack in the wall that was shared with the building next door, straight into a huge vat of what happened to be sexual lubricant.
Over the next few days, the lube was bottled and shipped off to supermarkets across the country, including those Izzy Stradlin shopped at.
"Ah shit- could you hold all this?" Izzy was at the register at Costco, ready to pay for his goods.
"Um- why?" The person behind the counter hesitated.
"I forgot something. I'll be right back!" Izzy jogged away and went straight to aisle 4, grabbing a bottle of lube off the shelf and rushing back,
"Sorry!" He apologised and dropped the bottle of sexual lubricant onto the counter. The person serving him gave him an odd look and scanned the lube through, dropping it into a plastic bag.
"Thanks for that." He said, loading bag after bag into his shopping cart.
"No problem. Next!" The cashier repied, and began to serve the next person in line. Izzy wheeled his trolley towards the automatic double doors at the front of the large building, then out to his car, unlocking the trunk and beginning to load his newly bought groceries in. He had a party planned for tonight at his apartment, and he was stocked up on alcohol, party food and disposable plastic cups. It would be just the guys and he, and Izzy had enough heroin and acid to share with them. This was going to be fun.

Hiya! Thanks for reading... next chapter soon. This will be a relatively short story but nonetheless enjoyable. I hope you find it humorous!! Xx
This is obviously a comical type of story so don't take it too seriously.
Thankyou for reading!!
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