Darkest Light - COMPLETE (bxb story tagalog/english)

Chapter 12

I feel cold.

Gabi na. Nung pumasok ako sa office hinanap nila sakin si Miguel. When they find out he went to a business trip they were surprised yet relieved na wala ang boss namin.. Pero ako?

Shiela even hit me for not eating. Mas gusto pa daw nya na nandun si Miguel kahit natatakot sya dito. Pero.. Wala talaga akong gana.

Tinititigan ko lang yung phone ko. Should I.. call? Fuck! Ayoko syang istorbohin..

Ano bang oras na sa America? U.S... I came from that place.. Dapat ba sumama na lang ako? Pero.. Kaya ko ba? Kaya ko na ba?

I fell on his bed and there was his scent.. I grab his pillow and hugged it. This is definitely Miguel's scent. Yung pabango nyang sobrang mahal. Yung shampoo nyang ginagamit ko na rin. Pati yung shower gel nya.. Miguel.. Please come back..

Then I jumped.

"My phone!" I grab it from the desk at si Miguel nga! Shit..

Breathe.. And I answered.

"M-Miguel?"

"Sabi na hindi ka tatawag." There was somehow a little hurt in his voice.

"I.. I uh.."

"Never mind. I just got off the plane few hours ago. God the flight is tiring. I wanted to hear your voice."

I wanted to hear your voice too. It sound more deep over the phone.. It's very calming Miguel..

"Alex.. I miss you already"

"I miss you too.."

"What?"

Shit! Wtf did I just said?!

"I.. Shit!" I hung up and I grab onto my hair. Napahilamos pa ko ng mukha. Shet lang. Ano ba tong pinagsasabi ko?! Pero.. Totoo naman.. Na-miss ko sya. Kahit isang araw. But hell that doesn't mean I can just blurt it anytime! That is so fuckin embarrassing!

"Shit!" I jumped when my phone rang again. He's be pissed if I don't pick up.. pero.. pero!!

Shit, bahala na!

"Mi-Miguel it's not what you thi-"

"I love you.."

Natigilan ako.. and I listened..

"Mahal na mahal kita.. Alex.. " his voice.. every word he spoke echo in my ears. I close my eyes and once again I felt cold. Coldness from the air.. the surroundings.. my chest...

My heart..

"Alex.. I'm so glad. Kala ko hindi mo ko mami-miss. I would really be lonely at that."

His voice brought me warmth.. yet.. it was not enough.. I need him.

But I can't..

"Miguel, take your time in there. Just do your business and I'll be fine.. I promise." Bakit ko ba sinasabi to?

"No. It feels weird not sleeping next to you.. I'll be there tonight, like I promised you"

"You won't be able to do your work in just a day there, Miguel. You don't have to look after me! I'm a fucking grown man!" Wtf am I saying?!

No.. No. I can't..

"Alexander! Where the hell is this coming from? Are you okay?"

No.

No I am not!!

"Ayokong maging pabigat! Uuwi na ko!!"

"Alex?! Wha--" I cut the line. He called again and I throwed it on the wall.

No..

I feel so.. Cold.

I jumped when his landline rung.. Alam ko sya yan.. So I sat up. Sinagot ko kahit alam ko ang pwede kong masabi.

"Alexander! Don't you dare leave me! Kahit kelan hindi ka pabigat! What the fuck is this? May problema ba? Just tell me!" His voice was shaking.. Halatang halata ang pag-aalala nya. Miguel..

"Ano ba tayo?"

I sound so cold..

"What?"

"What are we? Miguel.. Ayoko.. Ayoko ng ganitong pakiramdam. I hated it."

"No, Alex. Listen. Just listen to me." He said firmly. I nodded kahit alam kong hindi nya ko nakikita.

"I know you have feelings for me. Please don't deny that from me. I love you, Lex.. Mahal na mahal. Don't do this to me- fuck! Jason!" Lumayo yung boses nya bigla.

"..Book me a flight back to the Philippines! Now!!" He yelled out.

"No! Miguel! Stop! I will only feel worst kung gagawin mo yan!"

"Then what?! What? What do I.. have to do..? Alexander.." I heard rustling.. I can already picture him gripping his hair and stroking it back from anxiety.

Natahimik ako..

The uneasyness I feel since this mornings bad dream is coming back to me. Bakit ba? Ano bang nangyayare sakin?

I am making him worry because of this?

"Alex.. Please.." His voice shook.. Oh, God I'm sorry, Miguel.

"I was just.. cold.."

"You're.. Cold?"

"I want you to finish your work there.. Tell me. You'll finish it, right?"

"Yes, Yes I will pero bakit ka nilalamig? Are you feeling sick? Alex?"

"No. I just want you to do what you need to do.

.. Then.. Miguel.. Go back to me. I need you."

"Alex?"

"This morning's bad dream.. You left me.. Ayokong mangyare yun.. I guess I.. I panicked. I'm sorry, Miguel. Sorry.."

"No, no it's okay, Alex. I told you I won't leave you. I'll finish everything, Pangako. After this.. nandyan na ko sa tabi mo ng hindi mo namamalayan."

Natahimik nanaman ako.

"Can't you speak?"

"Keep talking please.. Just until.. I fell asleep." Nahila ko na pala yung telepono sa tabi ko. Nahiga ako sa kama.. Hugging Miguel's pillow. The phone against my ear.

"Okay, I got you.." And he told me a stupid and silly bed time story yet.. It worked.

Siguro nga..

Mahal ko na si Miguel.