Before The Sky & The Sea (A Muslim Love Story)

chapter thirty-one

ZAHRA

The evening breeze carried the scent of the sea, and the sun had dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of pink and orange. Ian had chosen a quiet beachfront restaurant for our dinner, the soft glow of lanterns casting a warm, intimate ambiance.

Sitting across from Ian, I watched him as he gazed out at the ocean. The moment felt tender and fragile, like the moments just before dawn when the world holds its breath. Our connection had grown stronger with each passing day, a bond that had flourished since that fateful meeting.

Ian turned his attention to me, his eyes holding a gentle smile. "You know," he began in a voice as soft as the breeze, "I've always been drawn to the sea. I keep remembering what you told me too."

"What I told you?" I asked, curious.

"You said that even before the sky and seas were created, before they laid eyes on each other, God wrote my name next to someone," he mumbles, softly. Ian Sanchez usually confident and nonchalant in everything he says sounds anxious and I'm curious as to the implications behind his words.

I nod, a little anxious so I crack a joke, "I don't know if I said your name specifically."

Ian rolls his eyes and chuckles lightheartedly. I realise how much I'm going to miss the sound, how much Ian has become a routine in my life. I do what I usually wouldn't: I let my heart speak for me before my head could. I reach out and intertwine my fingers around his. I feel him tense against my hands, but he does not pull away.

"I want to say something, I took you out today because I really want to say something. I don't know how it'll change things but, I know I want to say it," Ian lets out, I gently rub my thumb against his hand, in an attempt to soothe him.

"When I met you, Zahra Aishah, I had no idea how much you would change my life. I used to think that happiness was a privilege I lost access to years ago. When my mother passed on, and I went through what I did I felt like.. maybe it was just the universe's way of telling me some people are just destined to never find happiness, to never want to live. I used to think dying was the most beautiful gift, that even I didn't deserve," he speaks. I don't interrupt. Ian has never sounded, looked so vulnerable. I'm afraid if I say anything it'll stop his speech.

"I.. want to live. If I die, I want it to be knowing I did all the good things I could have done. Being a good person, Zar, it was something I thought I didn't deserve to be. But I want to try, I want to live a good life and.. I want to live it with you."

I'm silent as I study the hidden meaning in those words. He gazed at me, his eyes a reflection of vulnerability, as if he feared what my response might be, afraid that I'd reject the emotions he had just bared. Unspoken, yet crystal clear, he had just confessed his love to me. It was there, in the depths of his eyes, in the tremor of his voice. He loves me. It's written across his face, but he doesn't even realize it himself.

In those eyes, I saw a flicker of the old Ian, the one who once believed he was unworthy of love, the one who had built walls around himself to protect his heart. But here, in this moment, those walls had crumbled, revealing the man who longed for something more, something he hadn't allowed himself to feel in a long time.

I smiled, warmth filling my heart as I saw the fear dissipate from his eyes. Without a word, I reassured him. Leaning closer, I closed the distance between us, my lips gently brushing against his cheek. It was a tender kiss, a whisper of affection meant to melt away his doubts, to erase any lingering remnants of the old Ian.

As I pulled away, our eyes locked, and in that moment, words weren't necessary. He understood. He knew that he deserved love, that he was worthy of the happiness we were creating together.

Then, breaking the silence, I whispered softly, "After all this, I want to marry you again."

A soft, genuine smile spread across his face, and I could see the weight of his past lifting, replaced by the promise of a future filled with love and possibility.

That night, as I lay in bed nestled in Ian's protective embrace, he traced soft, comforting circles on my back and placed tender kisses on my forehead. It was a moment of solace, of vulnerability shared between us.

Ian began to speak in a hushed tone, his voice laden with the weight of his revelation. "Zahra, I need to explain the plan to you."

I turned my head slightly to meet his gaze, my eyes fixed on his. I look up at him and gently nod before once again resting my head on his chest.

He continued, "You know the contact I had in London? It pulled through well. She had a a treasure trove of files, deep underground files that reveal everything Zane has done, even before I was born."

My curiosity grew, and I couldn't help but ask, "Can we trust this connection? Her? Who is she? What happens to you, or Leo? Will..."

Ian shushes me and holds me tighter, cutting my sentence before I could confesss my burdens, "She's.. She was my mom's bestfriend. She married Zane and it was a horrible for her. It was. Thank God she got out, I was still a kid. But I saw everything she endured. The whole reason she's in London was to escape Zane, to rid herself of him entirely. He's a sick man. I'll take him down, even if it's the last thing I do. He won't hurt the one I care about most, Zar. I promise."

The revelation sent a shiver down my spine, understanding the tangled history behind the plan. But, I trusted Ian's judgment, if Ian trusted her then I should too. Still, I muttered a silent prayer.

But there was more to Ian's confession. "There's something else, Zahra," he admitted, his voice heavy with emotion. "I've been in the process of leaving my old life behind. I've been confiding in Nic about it for months now. I've distanced myself from anything to do with it. It's not an easy task to dismantle a gang entirely, so I can't.. just snap my fingers and it'll be gone but, slowly I've been handing over, been explaining to my men too. I'm certain, it isn't a life I want for myself.." he silently utters his next words, "I don't want it for Leo either."

My heart swelled with a mix of relief and concern. "Does Leo know about Zane? Is he leaving too?"

Ian shook his head slowly. "No, he still doesn't know about Zane. He's reckless, and I love him but he's too emotional. I would rather him be safe and clueless. But he's aware of my decision to step down. He told me he knew it was just a matter of time."

I chuckled, "That's exactly something he would say. Did you.. tell him you wanted him to leave too?"

Ian sighed, his fingers tenderly brushing my cheek. "I did. But he said it's the only life he has ever known. It's my fault. I did this, so I won't give up on him."

Determination filled my heart, and I assured him, "You were just a kid, Ian. I won't give up on him either. He got us, okay? And I got you," I say, planting a gentle kiss on Ian's cheek again.

The taller man blushes. It's the cutest thing I have ever seen and I make a mental note to kiss him at least once a day so I can see this sight over and over again.

As the night deepened, Ian shared the final details of the plan, and his words resonated with a quiet reassurance. "The plan is set for tomorrow. I'll have some of my men accompany me just in case. I'll say a prayer before I go. Say one for me too."

"Of course. Not a day goes by where I don't," I said.

Eventually, we drifted into a peaceful slumber, wrapped in each other's arms.

No matter what happens tomorrow, I have faith that everything will be okay.

Indeed, with hardship comes ease. (94):5