Nightmares of Caitlin Lockyer

Part 75

Slowly, I pulled the zip down, then flipped it open to expose her blood-soaked shirt. Pretend you're back in the hospital, doing a chest examination on someone who's been in a fight. "It's okay, it's okay," I murmured as I checked her ribs. I breathed a sigh of relief as I realised that none of them was broken, though she had a fair bit of bruising already. "Okay, I'm going to take the shirt and vest off you completely so I can wash off some of the blood."

Carefully, I slid the vest down her arms, mindful of catching her hands on the armholes, before I pulled the shirt over her head. Desperately, I tried to think of anything but what was in front of me. I turned away to bunch the whole mess up and pitch it after the pants, but it was soaked in blood, leaving still more on Caitlin's skin and mine. I'd never been so happy to see she wasn't wearing a bra, for it was one less thing to take off.

I pulled the showerhead from its cradle, pointing the nozzle at the floor as I turned the tap on. I waited for the water to warm up, wanting it the perfect temperature to wash Caitlin without waking or burning her. I kept one finger in the spray the whole time and turned the fine mist on Caitlin's body.

I fixed my eyes on the floor, trying not to look at her as the pink water cascaded onto the tiles. When the water ran clear, I dared to lift my eyes. Her shins were clean and a few seconds more took the last of the dried blood from her knees. I leaned over her, letting the spray stream down her back as I watched the water on the tiles go from red to pink to clear once more.

Lastly, I focussed on Caitlin's face. Blood streaked her cheeks and there were chunks of Laura in her hair. I couldn't leave Laura's blood on Caitlin's hands or any other part of her. There's no way I could convince her it was all a dream if traces still remained.

Gently, I cupped the back of her neck in my hand so I could tip her head back and rinse the gore from her hair. That done, I carefully directed the spray so it ran lightly down her face. She screwed her face up, but she didn't open her eyes.

"It's okay, angel," I said softly. "Almost done."

I turned the water off and reached for a towel to cover her with. I spread another across my arms and lifted her from the chair to the towels on the floor, laying her flat. I slid a folded towel under her head as a makeshift cushion, spread another towel over the top of her and returned to the shower. For a moment, I looked at her, lying unconscious and cocooned in the white towels as she had been in the sheets on a hospital bed. It was less than six weeks ago, but it felt like a lifetime. A lifetime that had nearly ended for her.

I stuck the shower head back in its cradle and turned the water on, hotter and stronger than I had for Caitlin. I dumped my vest on the floor and stood beneath the needle spray in my dripping clothes as tears rolled down my cheeks. I don't know how long I stood there, nor whether I was mourning or relieved. Or both.

Eventually, I came to my senses enough to realise that I had to get Caitlin up off the floor and into her own bed. I shut off the shower and dripped across the floor to the door. Just outside was a plastic shopping bag, so I yanked it inside and closed the door.

I dried my hands before taking a look in the bag. It looked like someone had gone up to Kmart and brought back some new pink pyjamas for Caitlin. I ripped the tags off and looked at her towel-shrouded body on the floor.

Now I just needed to get her into them.

I swallowed and leaned over her, not sure where to start. The pocket of my shirt sent a stream of water pattering onto the tiles. I jerked back, not wanting to wet her again. Fuck. I need to take my wet clothes off and any clean ones I have are still in her room. Fucked if I'm leaving her alone to go get dressed. But I can't go naked around her, either, in case she wakes up. Fuck.