Halo Effect//S.M.

Letters for the future

The rest of the drive drags on in an unusually cruel form of torture, otherwise known as boredom. Followed by a couple hours in airport security, because although Shawn has nothing on him the sirens blare every time he walks through the detectors. Earning us sighs of annoyance from mothers with crying babies on their hips and mean glares from men dressed in suits with ties wrapped so tightly around their necks you wonder how they're even breathing.

Finally I'm sitting in the window seat of a plane, just over the wing. Shawn's plopped down beside me, drifting off with his headphones in and a blanket draped over him. I'm thinking about how I got here and how insane I've got to be to be doing this. I think about how close I am to finding him-Matt-, piecing him together. I think about Shawn and how much he's risked to be here with me. He told me he loved me. Id like to say I love him too, but something keeps me from feeling it. Fear maybe. It'd never work out. I'm too much of a liability.

I try hard to sleep off the hours in the plane but my mind runs wild with thoughts. There's something about flying thirty thousand feet in the air, surrounded by clouds and moonlight that triggers epiphanies I think. Or maybe I knew it all along and was just telling myself otherwise. It has to be said however so I take a crumpled piece of paper and a pen from my bag and write him a letter.

Dear epiphany,
By the time you're reading this I'll be gone. Not dead, just gone. Where I will have gone I don't know yet, that still remains to be decided. Of course you know that every ounce in my body craves adventure and while you don't hold me back you don't exactly help me either. I only wish you knew how wondrous you are. You deserve better than broken and that's exactly what I am. I've had my epiphany and here it is; I love you. But I can't be loved.
- broken

I folded the paper into a square, being careful not to overlap the edges and slipped it into my pocket. I'd give it to him when the time was right.
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This is so short I'm sorry.

The current wattpad update is so annoying it doesn't motivate me to write at all oh my lord. Anyways summer has officially started for me so I should be writing more YAY!!!! I hope those of you who aren't out yet do well on exams and things. Love you guys, comment something for me to read, it makes my day!☺️💖