SENSITIVE STRINGS

Heartstrings On My Feathers

I've never heard of stories of the dead before,
I met you on the roof,
Slid out of my window instead of walking out the front door,
And I've never been so close to hell and heaven,
Bouncing boundaries of the crown,
My feathers dusted brown,

And I never thought,
You would hold my hand,
We would fly across the town to,
Find ourselves and,
Lose ourselves too,
We didn't care,
We found a love that was so rare,

And I couldn't even bother,
What they would say about us,

You are my lover, and I would never,
Bother-more, about them,
And furthermore, I would never doubt them,
They can go to extremes,
So I just hibernate forever in my sheets,
And in my head, the world is not so dead,
We would be free,
We would hold hands and walk around in my dreams,

Scared of heights and the waters and the jungles,
Uncertainty in my bones,
Breaking me inside of my dungeons,
"And there's nothing like a fucked in-the-head child, that would live like that"
But the truth to the life so bitter and so tasteless is that, it is not our choice to live like that,

The maddening and the winter that freezes on me,
The constant mocking of the 18 year old soul,
Is just so funny to me,
Because it is definitely not on me,
It was never on me,

And I hoped the rain comes,
To wash me clean,
Every night at 2 am,
I would sit in the balcony and weep,

The traumas I pushed back for a millennia would make a come back,
And I would push them back again and fail,
As they consume me in their deadly veil,

But the fire of life is still alive inside me,

Cause there is nothing on me,
And my life and my spirit,
They're alive,

They wish,
They believe,
And they want to fly,

And the petals in your hands make me want to dance like the ballroom hosts nobody but just us,
As you touch me and the flora and fauna blooms out of our love,
It's really special,
And it's scent sends me back to the times when I was happy,

And I am happy now, I guess,
Not happy in the way I had trained to be,

I am happier just the way I want to be,

And the pearl bracelet you put around my neck makes me feel so special,
Like the love oozing out instead of the fangs of Osiris so subtle but not venomous,

And I hold my wings to my heart,
They're throwing their knives at it like they're darts,
And broken and alone,
And they've taken advantage of me and crushed my soul and my bones,
And they would seduce me and then break my heart then go for blood,
Like they're thirsty for revenge,
And I don't even understand a word they said,

When they told me I deserved hell,

But you were there,
You were watching,
Twindiling your fingers for a clue,
And as they put me on fire,
You were burnt to ashes too,

Something in my head says,
That "I deserved it",
Whatever else you say, please,
Don't start now, never end now,
Save me somehow,
Or I'm dying daily,

I didn't love me as much I will always admittingly say,
But to kill me like I am not a human is the shittiest way to prey,
And I watched you from my side eye praying to faith,
And as my wings were on fire, I saw you fell from your grace,

But I survived it,
And I'm thriving,
And I'm finding you everyday,

And I know that,
You didn't deserve that,
But I loved you so,

And every night I'm screaming to the sky,
My desire was burned to dust in the fire tonight,
And I kept weeping in the middle of the jungle,

The centre of my great mahogany escape,
But you still found me,
Embraced me,
And told me "you haven't lost all of your reputation, you don't need to save any face"

And so I trusted and so I moved on,

"I didn't move on"

And so I loved you, and you know I still do,

"Would forever love you"

Till my dying day,

And you are my greatest support,
And you're just so fun to be around,
So intellectual, so smart,
You're such a sport,

And you were successfull,
To revive me back to my senses,
The depression that you pulled me out of,
Is now underlying in the beige streetlights of my soul under the criminal lenses,

And mental health is important,
You get it, so do I,
Others don't, so they make me cry,

They throw my fragile self inside to the fences,
Lock me up for my unknown offenses,

But you help me sneak out,
You stare deep in my hazel lenses,
And you tell me that you love me in the most complicated and aesthetic stitched sentences,

And I laugh all the time at your humour,
Mines broken, feels like laughter is dying with a tumor,
But I still try everyday,
And I try, try, try,
But sometimes I just fail from the get go,
And I don't know why, why, why,
And sometimes it gets too loud,
So I just want to sit and cry,

But you tell me, I'm perfect just the way I am,
And you say that I should be happier,
And you encourage me to post more of my face on my Instagram,

And I gradually am starting to become myself,
Working on my mind,
Waiting for the storm to come,
So I'll be holding tight, unlike last time,
I won't lose my mind,

And you always are there for me,
You helped me revive my dead self,
And you talked to me,
With your voice dripped with honey and solace,
And your comforting words of love telling me I'm flawless,

You healing my heart and putting our heartstrings on my feathers,
To make me stand back, stand up, speak back and speak now,
You brought back my confidence that was gone somehow,
And I can just stare at you for your amazingness,

And I will be forever thankful for your existence.