Take My Breath | Catnipz

sixteen

𓄼 Mara Jace 𓄹

The scent of freshly baked cookies wafts through the cold evening air as I find myself on the front porch of her house for the second time today.

I'd spent the last three hours contemplating on many things; though more importantly, her and the apology that I owe her for everything I've said. I never realised how frightening this all was.

I hold newly bought copies of various books that have been in her wish list for quite some time. It was my goal to make it to the nearest bookstore before close, with only ten minutes to spare.

I hurriedly scanned the shelves, both high and low for each book; all of which tells a tale of romance, youth and friendship. I bought five books, a bookmark and transparent sticky notes with little to no concern of how big of a dent it would leave me and my bank account—though it's hardly a pressing issue when I know of more important things to worry about, like her and her feelings. I needed to fix all my apparent wrongs.

I made sure to visit the chemist and pick up any medications, the grocery to pick up her favourite snacks and then made my last stop at the florist to pick up a bouquet of her favourite flowers.

The heaviness that continues to spread through my warm body only worsens the longer that I stand outside knowing that I've done wrong by her. I broke the one promise I made myself to keep her away from hurt. It's all ironic now.

The items I hold in my tight grasp make it almost impossible to lift my arm to reach the doorbell. Grunting, I then pondered for a brief moment if it's worth all the hassle to lay it all down and grab my own key from my own pocket. But after another moment longer, I find a dark shadow on the other side of the door through the tinted windows. Part of me wonders if Mason had realised I'd come back. Yet I'm proven mistakenly wrong when the door reveals Riley Marsh

in all her glory.

"Mara."

A smile forms across her face when we lock eyes.

"Here let me help you with that." She takes the bouquet and the brown bag filled with books before stepping away from the door to let me through. "Have you been out this whole time?"

I recollect the memory that occurred not merely five hours ago. "I'm so confused right now." I confessed. I remember insinuating and wrongly accusing Riley of something she didn't do. "Why are you being so nice to me right now?"

Riley closes the door behind me and chuckles softly. "Are you expecting me to be the opposite?" We walk back towards the kitchen. "Look, I'm not gonna act like a total bitch because of that..."

She stands on the other side of the marble countertop, a tray of chocolate chip cookies laid out evenly on a cooling rack. "You made these?"

Riley smiles proudly. "I did. Maisie told me she was craving something chocolatey so I decided to make some cookies to hopefully cheer her up."

"She will. These are her favourite." I smile.

A brief silence washes over us, giving me a moment most opportune to run over what I wanted to say to Riley after my outburst earlier this evening. The thought of it alone makes my stomach churn. I have no right to treat her like that, and even then, she's still so nice to me.

"Are you okay?"

Riley sets down a plate with three cookies. "You look a little upset. Have I made you uncomfortable in any way? If this is about Mason I can assure—"

I shake my head. "No, that's not it. I honestly can't live with myself if I don't tell this to you..."

Her brows knit together closely.

"What do you mean?"

I take a deep breath. "I wanted to apologise. To you. I acted completely out of pocket and..." I rub my hands against the sides of my jeans as sweat starts to seep out from the glands.

"You didn't deserve any of that. Every little word I spoke was cruel and hurtful. It was so unnecessary and I really hope that you'd forgive me. I want to tell you how sorry I am. I'm really sorry, Riley. I really don't have any other reason than the one I'm afraid of admitting the most..."

Her forehead creased upon hearing the words that roll off my tongue. "What reason?" An ever growing curiosity blooms in her chest. "I do accept your apology, but I am curious as to why you acted that way. You're not usually like that."

Precisely.

I am not one to cross the line over small simple matters like a friend looking after a friend. But things are different when you're jealous, when you're in love and they don't know it. The reason for my actions is precisely that and nothing less.

"I'm not." I lower my head. "I wouldn't put it past Mason it she gave you one or two reasons as to why I'm not like that. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry because that's just not who I am...I would hate for you to think that I'm this stupid. I acted out of line. But to put it quite simply..." I avoid her gaze.

"I was just jealous of you." I confessed.

Riley takes a step back from the kitchen island. Her head tilts at a slight angle. "What?"

My heart knocks loudly against my chest. I feel my throat begin to dry up quicker than a red desert. "I was jealous." I answered, my skin pale.

I felt like the air had been squeezed from my very lungs. A confession is never truly easy.

"Of me?" Riley questioned. "Why?"

I run my hand through my hair. "I thought you were making a move on her..." I answered. "When I walked through the front door it was the first thing I saw and it looked...you looked..."

I hold my head inside the palms of my hands. "Fuck, this is so embarrassing." I add. "I literally have no other reason other than plain jealousy."

Riley nods. "I know. I heard you the first time but..." She shook her head. "I don't get it. If you were jealous of me then...does that mean..."