Take My Breath | Catnipz

five

THE HAVEN we deserve. The Haven that now holds a much fonder memory. The walls that used to be tainted in hatred are now stripped and painted over with what is now a blooming feeling of warmth and comfort; much like the arms of Mara Jace and the one that lays between them.

The pair sit on the hardwood floor in front of the fireplace. "How do you feel?" Mara traces over Mason's lines with the tip of her finger. "Are you okay now?" She waits desperately for an answer.

Mason beamed widely. "'Mm. I'm more than okay." She answered. "Thank you for tonight."

Mara Jace smiled. "Really? I'm glad then..." She runs her fingers through Mason's long hair. "I was so nervous bringing you here. I knew you'd figure it out eventually but...I didn't want those memories to be the only thing you tie down to this place. I wanted to replace that with this..."

The latter tilts her head upward and finds MJ staring back into her brown eyes. "Well now I can say for sure that this is haven. Or our haven. I think it sounds better that way." She chuckled.

"Our haven definitely sounds a lot better."

Mason closed her eyes and exhaled. "I wish we could just make this our own place..." The thought alone made her heart beat faster.

Mara Jace leaned in slowly and pressed her lips against the top of the latter's head. "We can. But no one can know." She added. It sounded soft yet firm. "It can be our little secret. Between us."

The Haven was now their little secret. To be kept within the walls of what keeps them warm on this chilly evening; to never be shared between anyone else. A tight lipped secret that both of them were willing to keep for two entirely different reasons that the other was not aware of.

Mason nodded. "Between us." She reiterated. "I'm ok with that. As long as I can be here with you."

It felt too easy to say. And that alone was scary for Mason. It was no surprise that she would do anything for Mara; but this seemed like a step further from what she grew accustomed to. It had grown evidently clear that this was more than just a friendly relationship; especially one between two seemingly platonic best friends.

Mason knew that full well. This was something different; something entirely new and an ever growing fear. The kind of fear that Mason had never once thought would cross her mind. The kind of fear that was blinking rapidly in her mind like a hazard light. This was not what she needed; nor was it what she wanted. But Mason could no longer deny the truth. It coiled around her like a snake to its prey; in no way would it hesitate to squeeze out the truth; to let it bleed out desperately and pool at your very feet.

It had become incredibly clear that Mason had found herself falling for the one person she least expected—but that's how it always goes isn't it? In all the movies and all the songs.

Mara Jace Kim. The best friend she's ever known. The best friend she's known since the day they learnt how to walk. The best friend that helped her learn how to ride a bike. The best friend that survived through all odds and hardships when others did not. The best friend that kept her safe. The best friend that knows all her deepest secrets and her utmost fears. The best friend that Mason cares for deeply and undeniably so. Mara Jace.

Mara Jace who is her best friend.

Mara Jace who holds her in her warm embrace.

Mara Jace who loves her unconditionally.

Mara Jace who loves her so, in whatever way it way be. For that is something she did not know.

The warmth that bloomed deep within had been replaced with a gut wrenching feeling; Mason felt light headed and sick to her stomach. She had proven herself wrong; entirely so. Mason had failed to prove that she would not be that girl.

The girl that falls in love with her best friend.

But it just can't be. She's not in love with Mara.
She tried hard to suppress her laughter. The world must've gone to absolute shit for this to even happen; to even be her reality. The feeling loomed over her like a deep cumulonimbus cloud; ready to produce a downfall strong enough to put you on your knees and beg and beg that those feelings would go away.

But she's here. And her heart beats like it always has been; but now it beats for another reason; if not to live; her heart beats only for Mara Jace,

and all her glory.

And it would be a lie for Mason to even deny it. But what Mara fails to know won't hurt her; because Mara Jace will never know. Not today. Not in the next week or month. Not in this lifetime. Mason would rather live a thousand lives than admit her feelings for her best friend.

The best friend whose warmth has become second nature; whose warmth is now home. Why would home ever be four walls and a roof when home feels like her? Mason had been accustomed to many things; but a whole lifetime of knowing couldn't have prepared her for this.

If she could be born again, Mason could only hope that things would be less complicated.

Would she still want Mara in her life? Yes. But could she live another life where they aren't more than friends? Yes. Of course she could do that.

Mason took a deep breath and laced her hands in Mara's very own. "Have I told you how much you mean to me?" Her heart rate quickens. She could feel Mara's warmth all over her. The latter had been quick to brush the hair against Mason's neck. The tips of her fingers brushed against the side of her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

Mara Jace smiled. "Maybe once before, why?"

Mason swallowed the dryness in her throat. "I don't know. I just wanted to tell you that you mean the world to me. I hope it sounds sincere. I know I'm terrible at expressing my feelings..."

Mara chuckled. "You mean the world to me too, baby. You're my whole world. I love you." She pressed a soft kiss on Mason's cheek and smiled.

Her heart stopped beating for some seconds.

"I love you too, Jace. I really do."