All's Fair in Love and Las Vegas

Chapter Forty-Eight

        "There's nothing that makes me more important," I said gently. I rested my head on my folded arms, saying, "You can talk to me, Grayson." 

        Blowing out a stream of air, he said slowly, "I'm really okay, Jackie. Honest. Yes, I'm still hurting, yes, I'm worried and sad all the time, but it's okay. It's manageable."

        "What happened to together?" I asked softly.

        He looked somewhat guilty. "I'm still in this with you. I'm still sticking with you no matter what."

        "But by yourself?"

        "I'm just...not as important right now," Grayson said thickly. 

        I took my hand and brushed my fingertips down his jaw. He flinched slightly at the water on his skin, but then slowly melted and leaned into the palm of my hand. His hazel eyes fluttered shut and he finally whispered something.

        "It's been really hard, Jackie," he murmured, and while his tone was filled with hurt, I still heard the guilt laced into it. "I'm trying to hold on for your sake, but sometimes..."

        "I know," I whispered. "You've been so sweet, making sure I'm okay, but I worry about you. That you're not listening to yourself, to your own feelings." 

        Grayson hung his head, mumbling, "I try telling myself that, but I know you need the support so badly."

        "No, no, you need it too," I said, shaking my head. "Really. Don't think that just because you're the dad you have to pretend everything's okay."

        "Nothing's okay anymore," he said, his voice cracking.

        My heart cracked in sympathy for him. "How can I make it okay?" I asked softly.

        He shuddered with each breath. "Just...just keep being here. Talking to me. Checking in."

        "I can do that." 

        "Thank you. It means a lot, Jacks," he said, smiling up at me.

        "How could I not be there when you've been so strong for me this whole time?" I said.

        Grayson smiled, grasping the edge of the tub as he leaned forward to kiss my cheek. My heart thudded as I wondered what was running through his head. I worried about him constantly nowadays, asking just how much he was hurting and how deep he was burying his pain. He was hard to read, especially when he put up a front for my sake.

        "I think maybe you were the one that needed a bubble bath," I said with a sad smile. 

        He laughed slightly. "No, you did. Besides, not really my style. I feel silly just sitting in bubbles."

        "Gee, thanks," I snorted. Then he truly laughed, a relieving sound. If I could make him laugh, that was progress.

        "How about instead of a bath, you get a fort?" I offered.

        Wary, Grayson asked, "A fort?" 

        I nodded, warming up to my own idea. "We'll grab some chairs and blankets and pillows and set one up at the end of the bed. It'll be cozy. How does that sound?"

        For a second, he hesitated. Then he melted and admitted, "That sounds nice, Jacks."

        "Let me dry off and get dressed and we can start," I said, secretly proud that I'd figured out something relaxing for him.

        "Okay. Here's your towel and clothes," Grayson said, getting them for me and setting them next to the tub. I thanked him and he stepped into the hallway. Quickly drying off, I put on the pajama pants and t-shirt. Then I opened the door, which meant Grayson was once again prepared for my relaxation.

        "Let me dry your hair?" he said hopefully.

        "But our fort!" I protested. 

        "It can wait a minute. You'll catch cold; let's blow dry your hair," he said firmly, sort of nudging me back into the bathroom. He pulled out a stool from under the vanity and had me sit.

        As he dried my hair, I tried my hardest not to meet his gaze in the mirror. Oddly, I felt as though I would melt away if I did so. Instead I picked at the remains of my nail polish from last week, waiting for him to be done.

         Finally, Grayson shut off the hairdryer and set it on the counter. He ran his fingers through my dark locks, fluffing my hair. I made the mistake of looking up too soon to find him smiling at me in the mirror. 

         "What?" I asked softly, turning to look up at him.

        "You're just really cute," he murmured, leaning down and hugging me from behind. I took it, because he gives really nice hugs, but his behavior was unexpected. 

        "You don't really call me cute much," I noted, swallowing hard.

        A flicker of worry passed over his face. "Is-is it okay?" he asked timidly.

        "Of course, it's sweet," I assured him, melting back into his arms. "Just unexpected."

        I felt his hesitation as he asked, "Would you like to be called cute more often?"

        My heart betrayed me and skipped a beat. "I wouldn't mind it," I said slowly.

        "Okay then," he said, hugging me tighter. Subconsciously, I felt his embrace get warmer, even more accepting. My eyes flickered shut, and I sank against him. It was just for a second.

        But it was the nicest second I'd experienced in a while. 

        Oh, I was in so much trouble.