Me Against Her (Cate Blanchett x OC)

Cheated

"I'm listening," I said once we were inside again.

"I have to say this to you in person - I had an affair when I knew that it would hurt you, Edie. And I'm sorry." She said, "I told Chris yesterday that...it was over." 

"I know that we weren't in an exclusive relationship, and we never said that we couldn't see other people," I said, "but it still felt like being cheated on, Cate." 

"And I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I don't know how to tell you this, but the truth is, all my life I've been in relationships with men. It's the most familiar thing for me. But as hard as it is to admit to myself, that doesn't mean I'm less attracted to you than a man."

"But do you want to be with me?" 

She paused. "I've only been with women casually before...I've never been in a relationship with one." 

"You didn't answer my question." 

"You know very well that I do."

"But?"

"I'm...terrified." 

"Of?"

"Having to come out every time I introduce you to someone. Having to come out to my children and change how they see me forever. Being pigeonholed in my career. Potentially losing my career. Higher risk of physical violence towards both of us." 

"Okay, I see. You're entitled to your choices."

"Edie," she tried to reach for my hand but I pulled away, "are you not...terrified at all?" 

"Of being gay? I am. On a daily basis." 

"How do you live with it?" 

"I just do," I said, "whenever I find myself worrying about the risks of coming out, I remind myself that there are risks to not coming out too. In fact, I lived through them. For years. I'm in a much better place mentally now." 

"I envy you," she said, her face sad with fatigue, "I've really been struggling...with my sexuality..."

"I can't help you with that," I said, "but I wish you well." 

"Please...can you just give me some time?" She supplicated. 

"No," I said coldly, "I don't want to be hurt again. So I'm not gonna wait around for you to change your mind." 

"You're right...you shouldn't." She stood up and grabbed her bag, "I have to go to the airport soon. But I do have one more thing to tell you, if you'll hear me out...I heard from Harge that you're starting your own theater company?"

"We are." 

"Congratulations. You know I've always been a huge admirer of your vision and ability to run a theater company, Edith. And I want to be able to stay in your life...professionally. I'd love to be your first investor." 

"Are you serious?"

"Do you know why I took the Marvel job?"

"Why?"

"It's wildly different from the type of project that I normally do. But it pays, Edie. I felt so helpless when I couldn't...help you back at STC. After this movie, I'll be in a position to say 'fuck you' to any two million dollar-check." 

For a moment, I was really tempted. Having been in non-profit theater for years, I knew how absurdly difficult it was to find that first pot of gold. 

And how I longed to fall back into the welcoming familiarity of building a show together with Cate, carrying cables with her until we were both panting with sweat and laughter, having her face really close to mine as we ran through the production schedules, and those romantic post-show dinners where her eyes veered towards sensuality whenever I said a naughty word. 

But now that I knew intimately the dangers of money and living under the shadow of that money, even my own answer surprised myself. 

"Thank you, Cate," I said politely, "but I'll have to decline for now." 

"I...understand." She gave me an awkward hug, and opened the door, "You're still welcome to...stay here, when I'm gone." 

"Thank you, but that won't be necessary." I responded. 

-----

SIX MONTHS LATER 

-----

Harge and I got along surprisingly well, and we were able to take a breath from all the STC drama that troubled us. But to no one's surprise, we were struggling. Building a new company from scratch was no easy task, and we could barely maintain a healthy cashflow when we weren't close to opening a show yet and collecting ticket revenue. 

However, I seemed to be a magnet for evil capital, and soon I received another ominous opportunity for a large amount of cash. 

Unlike last time, the sender made their identity as unambiguous as possible. It was from a writer at People Magazine. One of the most famous celebrity tabloids in America. 

"I have a very bad feeling about this," Harge put his hand to his mouth. 

It asked me to provide a photo of me and Cate together in hopes of outing her as queer. And in return, I'd get a check that could turn the theater company around. 

"Fuck," Harge typed up a flurry on Facebook doing a background check on the writer, "this bitch went to high school with Abby." 

"I knew she leaked it," I grunted, "I can't believe I left STC and she's still haunting me." 

"So what do you say?" Harge looked extra uncomfortable, "Look, this wasn't how I imagined we'd fundraise...but we could also really, really use the money. And Cate did you dirty, so..." 

I held the letter in my hand for a long time. Then I took out my phone, and looked at all the pictures of me and Cate together. A couple of selfies from the Oscars where she was kissing my cheek in the backseat of a limousine; I took one of her while we were driving to Sacramento; Us in bed together at the motel, naked under the sheets, her beautiful blond locks tousled, our cheeks flushed with endorphins. 

Suddenly, I developed another cause in life. I had every urge to run to the print shop downstairs to print and mail all of them. Not even for the money. But just to pay her back for all the anguish she has caused me. 

Though I was a nobody compared to her, she had more to lose compared to me. And that thought brought a genuine smile to my face for the first time in days. 

Just like that, within the span of a year, we went from enemies to lovers to enemies yet again. Except this time, the stakes were much higher.