The Summers After

bonus chapter 3

BELLY
7 YEARS AGO

Belly is camped out on the couch with a blanket and a cup of cocoa when Conrad walks in. It must be raining because his hair is damp. He doesn't look up from the ground, instead he just walks straight into his bedroom. She can immediately tell something is wrong by the way he avoided eye contact with her.

"Con?" She asks tentatively.

There's no response. She pulls the blanket off her lap and quietly walks over to the doorway. "Con?" She says again.

Conrad is pacing around the room, his fingers digging into his hair. His breath is shallow and is coming quickly. He's having a panic attack.

"Conrad," Belly says gently, "Tell me what's wrong."

Conrad's eyes are frantic as they search the room. His eyes finally land on her and Belly takes a step towards him. She's desperate to calm him down.

"Try to take a deep breath," Belly keeps her voice quiet.

Conrad watches her intently, but his breath isn't evening out. It's becoming more rapid, and he's rubbing his chest frantically. His eyes are wide as he continues searching her face.

This isn't the first time he's had a panic attack since they've been together. He used to get them more frequently when Susannah was sick, and when they weren't together.

Belly takes another step towards him. "I talked to Steven today. He and Shayla just got back from their honeymoon. It sounded amazing. A whole week on the beach in Mexico. I would love to do that. Maybe we can take a trip? We haven't taken a big trip since we've been together." Belly keeps inching closer to him and he's letting her. She knows talking to him is the way to get him to calm down.

"I can't breathe," Conrad says, his voice strained. "I can't, I can't," he stutters,.

Belly closes the gap between them and sets her hand on his heart, "I know. Just look at me. I'm right here, okay?"

"You're here," Conrad breathes.

"I'm here," Belly says back, holding his eye contact.

"Keep talking."

Belly nods, "I have decided that I need to find a hobby. Maybe knitting or something. Susannah loved to bake, remember those cakes she would make for holidays? I loved that. So I could learn to bake. Except I broke that family heirloom cake stand on the 4th when I got drunk. You almost kissed me that night, do you remember that? I loved you so much." Belly smiles at the memory, but keeps talking, "Anyway, so baking? What do you think? It might be nice if I learned how to do that. You can cook, so it would be good to have a baker in the family. I'll learn. Or I could look into photography. We could start really documenting our lives. I lived in Spain and I hardly have 10 good photographs. We could take up a hobby together? Like dance lessons! We have always loved dancing together. At the deb ball, you stepped in to do the big dance with me. We had so much fun that night—"

Conrad leans down and kisses her gently, interrupting her mid sentence. When he pulls away, his face is softer and his breathing has calmed almost completely. "Thank you,"

Belly smiles up at him, "Come lay with me."

Belly pulls Conrad back into the family room and onto the couch. He lays his head in her lap so she can stroke his head.