forty-two

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BELLY

Hailey is staring at Belly, anxiously awaiting the start of this story.

But Belly doesn't even know where to start. Hailey said she wanted to know everything, but it's over 30 years of love and drama.

"Okay," Belly takes a deep breath, "The first thing you have to know is that I have loved Conrad my whole life." Belly crosses her legs in front of her, "He was the first boy I ever loved. And honestly, it was only ever him. But then Susannah got sick for the second time, and everything changed. Conrad changed. He became distant and cold towards me. I was heartbroken, and then Jeremiah was there. He told me he had feelings for me, and I guess somewhere deep down I did too. The summer of my 16th birthday, I kissed both of them and I pursued something with Conrad," Belly chuckles, "He of course ended up breaking my heart. And Jere was still there. Jeremiah was always there for me, so when we started dating he felt so safe. He was the Fisher who never hurt me. Of course I loved him, how could I not? He made me feel wanted and loved. And then when he proposed, I saw a life with him, one that Conrad never offered. But even when I said yes, there was something in me that knew it was wrong. I think I was trying to prove to myself that I could live without Conrad. And I couldn't. I don't know who I was fooling, probably no one."

Hailey is listening intently, hanging on Belly's every word.

Belly continues, "Before the wedding, Conrad told me he was still in love with me. And I was in love with him too, I always had been. So I knew that I couldn't marry Jeremiah. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Because there had been a time that I didn't love Jeremiah, but never a time I didn't love Conrad. Conrad was always there." Belly shrugs, "Jeremiah is the perfect guy, Hailey. He is strong and reliable, he's always there when you need him, he loves so hard. He is the guy that every girl hopes to find. And maybe in some other world, Jeremiah and I would have been perfect together. But not in this world, it was only ever going to be Conrad."

Hailey finally exhales, "I don't understand why he didn't tell me."

"Because it's messy, and it's hard. It's full of heartbreak and all of us hurting each other. We all made mistakes. I love Conrad and I's love story, but it's not a pretty one." Belly says gently, "Jeremiah loves you, in the biggest way he can." Belly runs her fingers through her hair, "Jeremiah told me the day of our wedding that he never got all of me, there was always a piece I held back from him. And that was true, it was the piece of me that would always be reserved for Conrad. But I wonder if maybe Jeremiah held pieces of himself back too, because the way he loves you, is a way he never loved me."

Hailey leans back on the couch, "I have a child, Belly. I don't want to play games, or always be the consolation prize."

"You're not," Belly says gently, "He is yours Hailey, all in, 100%."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I've seen him in love, up close, and it's different with you."

Hailey looks at Belly, as if trying to read her face. "Doesn't it all feel weird? You being married to your ex's brother?"

Belly chuckles, "Maybe, I don't know. It's all in the past. It probably is weird, but I don't know anything different."

"Do you believe in soul mates?" Hailey asks quietly.

Belly sighs, her face falling, "I do, because I found mine. You could line up every man on this planet, and I would still only love and want Conrad. He is the other half of my soul. But I understand why people don't believe in them. It does seem a little insane that of the 7 billion people on earth, there's only one out there for you."

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