the third person

02

ASHER

I overheard the conversation Art had with Grandpa. I can't say I regret it, but it really astonishes me how easily my brother's innocent soul can get manipulated.

For one, my father is a peculiar man. He's nothing like the father Art is told about. But no one here knows the whole story. Ma used to sit beside me and tell me things about her life. Art always fell asleep when he hit the bed, but I could never sleep. The only reason that Ma's parents never came to visit, is that they don't like Dad. It's not that Dad is a bad person, but the only reason that he doesn't want me to die is because my grandparents are giving him money for my treatment. 

It's not that he couldn't afford a better hospital to get rid of my cancer, he was just waiting until he looked pathetic enough for my grandparents to bring money. I'm sure I could've gotten better had he tried.

Ma told me that her parents didn't want her to marry Dad, but she did anyway. I don't exactly know what job our father did before marriage, but it was something that my mother's family did not like. They saw my father as something that brought down their reputation. Ma had eloped and married Dad. Art doesn't know that. He probably never will. 

When a proposal came from some rich and reputed family for Ma's marriage, she had already gone and married my father. It hadn't been 3 years into their marriage that Ma died. I don't know much, but adding to what Murphy (Ma's friend from college, who owns a coffee shop down the block) thinks, Ma's parents had deliberately had her killed because they wanted the money from the reputed groom's family. I've never really understood the way that works, but anyhow.

A lot of things went wrong last year. I got cancer, Art gets bullied in school without me there to protect him, Dad got kicked out of his job and now works for Murphy, who's too broke to pay him, so his job at the coffee shop is just for namesake. My girlfriend left me because I changed too much for her to handle, Art's boyfriend left him for reasons he would not specify, and our friend group broke into infinite pieces. It's just Kai and Mei at school now with Art, and I don't think he talks to anyone else.

I don't understand why I have to feel guilty for everything. 

I tried to teach Kai and Mei karate, but Mei kept getting distracted (she has a crush on me, but I don't) and Kai has too many insecurities. All my friends from the gym and sports club left the second they realized that I was not so cool anymore. Hanging with me ruined people's reputations. I hardly go out of my home, other than traveling to the hospital for check-ups. 

Dad's sister made me join this church club for depressed people, and I don't know what's more depressing than watching depressed people talk about their depression. I think it's my aunt's generation that automatically assumes a kid is depressed if he doesn't have enough energy for their bullshit. Ridiculous.

Then again, for the past 3 months, Dad has forced me to get out of the house and go grocery shopping or something even though I tried to tell him how awkward it is when people say they 'haven't seen you around a lot', and you tell them you have cancer just to see the horrified looks on their faces. One lady grabbed me with her into some room and started reciting some Bible verses and crying, alternatively.

I don't think he understands. 

I even joined that philosophy club as an excuse. It only happens once in 3 days and it's better than church. I recommended friends from the church, namely Ryan and his girlfriend to join the club, and we hang out at Murphy's celebrity coffee shop every day, on a reserved seat with a special view of Springfield.

I don't think I noticed her here before, it would be impossible not to, but today as I entered the café, and waved at Ryan and Mary, there was something different in the air. Someone's perfume. It was rich and I turned my head towards the source of the smell and there she was. 

Jane Allen. 

Many people were already taking pictures of her. I just stood there for a while until someone's tall body crashed into me from behind.

I fell on a nearby lady sitting, immediately apologized, and turned back to curse at the person but oh, dear. My brain has officially stopped functioning. Delilah James was standing there in her tank top and overcoat, her auburn bangs obstructing her emerald eyes as she apologized. 

I nodded at her and muttered, "It's fine."

She stood up straight, taller than me and pointed her index finger at me. "You're the cancer guy."

"It's...Asher Joy, nice to meet you."

"Well, it's a joy to meet you too."

I gave her a 'really?' look as she cleared her throat, turning her head toward the direction I was trying not to look at. She wrinkled her nose and then waved enthusiastically. Or was it mock enthusiasm?

"Hey, Jane!"