a thousand times more pt 1

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"why can't you see that you belong with me?"
-taylor swift, you belong with me

y/n's pov

this is it. today is the day. me and walker haven't spoken since i told him that i loved him, and as mad at him as i am, even after seeing all of him and ava's posts, paparazzi pictures, and seeing her surprise him on set, i still feel something for him. i mean, would i really be thinking all this if i didn't? today is the kiss scene between me and walker, so i'm currently walking from my trailer to set.

"hey, y/n wait up!" i heard anne say walking with ryan behind me. "come with us to ryan's trailer super fast!"

"uh ok!" i said joining them. "so what's up?" i asked.

"what is going on with you and walker?" ryan said pacing around. "you guys were basically inseparable a few weeks ago, then he got a new secret girlfriend, then you and her started screaming at each other IN PUBLIC, then you guys were talking like everything was normal in an interview, then you got in another fight? i can't keep up."

"sounds like your perfectly kept up to me!" i said starting to walk out. i did not want to talk about walker.

"not so fast!" anne said grabbing my arm and pulling me next to her on the small couch in the corner. "y/n you can talk to us honey! not to mention today you guys have to film-"

"yeah yeah i know we have to film the kiss, not looking forward to it very much." i said resting my head on her shoulder. "to be honest, i feel like from the time i saw walker i felt something towards him, and it only got stronger until i found out about abby- amy- ava whatever her name is. it's just so hard to know that i wasn't enough for the boy i was in love with but a girl who he just met was."

"she's gonna be mad at us anne." ryan said widening his eyes. "this was a bad idea."

"shhh! ryan!" she said trying to act like i didn't hear anything as she hugged me. "i'm so sorry y/n, that must be so hard."

"anne? ryan?" what did you do?" i said peeling her arms off of me.

"well, we could tell something was going on with you too, so we decided to convince shawn to let you guys take the morning off under the condition that you guys hang out by yourselves! please don't hate us we thought it was a good idea." ryan spit out.

"oh. my. god." i said in utter disbelief. "i'm not doing that. tell shawn you changed your mind, please?" i begged when we heard a knock.

"hello guys, y/n here's walker, anne, ryan, we're ready for you!" shawn said pulling me out the door and next to walker. before i knew it shawn ryan and anne were already walking and it was just me and walker now.

"uh shawn gave me the work card and said we can get food and that we have to do a livestream at some point to get people more excited about the film. want to go to the cafe then back to my trailer?"

"sure i guess." i wanted to be mad at him so bad. i hate him, and i never want to see him again after the way he hurt me, but the worst part is that i would still come running back if i had the chance. i really think i might be in love with this boy, even after all of this. after we finally walked for a little while, he finally started to make small talk.

"so how are you?" he said.

"fine, and you?" i asked.

"fine." he said with another long pause following.

"and how's ava?"

"could we actually not talk about ava?"he said sighing.

"sorry." i said as we walked into the cafe. we ordered then walked back without saying a word to each other. we finally got into his trailer and sat down.

"so did you want to go live?" he asked.

"you know what walker? i don't know how much longer i can do this." i finally said.

"do what?" he said confused.

"pretend like everything's normal between us. you were right, we really should talk, and i'm sorry i haven't wanted to, it was selfish and-" i said be fore he started talking.

"y/n you aren't the one who needs to apologize. it's me. i'm sorry. i am so so so sorry. i really liked you. like a lot, more than i've ever cared for any other girl."

"well except ava."

"no, including ava! you were right, it was so wrong of me to date her, and i think she's using me to be completely honest. i still feel something with you, it's such a weird feeling. sure i like her, but not in the same way that i love you!" i felt my mouth slightly fall open but i couldn't get myself to speak. "and i know that everything i'm doing is just fucked up, i shouldn't be feeling like this for someone while i'm in a relationship, let alone telling you how i feel. i just don't know what to do anymore, i've seriously just messed everything up. with you, with our friends, with ava. and y/n? i know that you don't like me anymore. and im at peace with it, i mean, as close as im going to get. im well aware that everything we had is gone, and im sorry that i ruined what we had, if it was anything, but i couldn't keep it to myself anymore." he ranted. "god, i really shouldn't have told you that."

"walker?"

"yeah?" he said not making eye contact. i gently grabbed his cheek and faced his head towards me.

"i love you too, and probably a thousand times more. i said pulling him into a hug. i just held him as a single tear fell down my face. everything was amazing, until i heard the trailer door slam open.

"ew what!? y/n get away from him!" a voice said. my eyes were blurry, and couldn't make out who it was until i saw her. oh shit, it's ava.

"ava it's not what it looks like, we were just talking, i swear." walker laughed it off.

"yeah, she was talking to you about how much she loves you when you obviously don't want her!" clearly ava only heard the last part of that conversation.

"oh my god are you on live?" i asked as she pointed a camera in my face.

"yup! and all of my fans are gonna see how much of a snake you are! right walkie?" she said confidently.

"ava, turn off the live, the three of us need to talk." walker said with his cheeks turning red.

"uh, okay.." ava said sitting down and turning her phone off. we ended up with the conclusion that they needed to talk in private before i was a part of the conversation, which i can understand, so i left. only god knows what's going on in that trailer, i'm praying for walker.


a/n
omg what is it with me and 2 part chapters.. 😭

now you guys can't be mad at me anymore!

OKAY THE PJO TRAILER!?!?!??! SO GOODDDDDDD

thanks anne and ryan!!

shoutout to whoever requested ybwm with me for the songgg 🩷🩷

it's 2:30 am for me and i need to go to sleep but ily guys sorry this was short but pt 2 of this chapter should be out fairly soon like left than a week for sure

LOVE YOU GUYS SO SO SO SO MUCH!! -c 😍

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