Painted Pretty ♡

fifteen ♡

The conversation still hangs between us, a thread waiting to be picked up again. But for now, I focus on the road, the wind rushing through the open windows, and the uncertainty of what lies ahead.

♡♡♡

I got back home and hopped into the shower, washing away the day's sweat and worries. Standing in front of my vanity mirror now, I'm moisturizing my skin, and without the makeup now, the raw truth was revealed.

There's the unrefined jawline, the one that my pretty pills haven't quite softened yet, and the pesky large pores that never seem to cooperate.

My fingertips trace the features I wish I could change. It's been a while since I worried about what others might think of me, since I stopped caring if they "clocked" me. But dysphoria? That's a battle that's been raging within me since day one.

My hands are busy working on my braids, undoing them strand by strand. My new wig arrived, and I'm planning to rock it for the big showing tomorrow. It's out of my comfort zone, I usually do a black colored one, but this one is burgundy.

Just as I'm lost in my own little world, there's a knock on my door. "Aye, sis?" It's Zay.

"Yeah, what's up?" I call back, scissors in hand as I start snipping my braids shorter.

Zay drops down onto my bed, the springs squeaking in protest. "How did that camp thing go? Didn't get a chance to ask you."

I turn around to face him, braids in various states of disarray. "It was...interesting," I say with a hint of a pout. "A lot of drama, I guess."

He raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Wanna tell me about it?"

I pause, letting my thoughts catch up before I continue. "You know, it was supposed to be a Christian camp, right?" He nods in understanding, waiting for me to go on. "Well, the thing is, I'm trans. And being there, it just didn't feel like a place for me. Everyone was nice and all, but it was like this constant thought in the back of my mind. And, I might've met a guy...or two," I add, a little smirk tugging at my lips.

Zay playfully pokes my Pikachu squishmallow, a grin on his face. "Hey, every place is for you, you deserve to take up all of that space. You are who you are, period. And Ari, not all Christian's are like the ones you see on Tik Tok, some are actually nice, maybe you lucked out."

I can't help but grin back at him. "Thanks, Zay," I say, warmth spreading through me. "I'm still kind of trying to wrap my head around it all. It's like no one really gets what's going on inside my head, or what it's really like to be me. There's not a single roadmap to this, you know? It's a journey I'm trying to figure out."

Zay leans in, his gaze steady. "But the best thing about that is...You get to set your own pace and decide when you've crossed the finish line. Don't stress yourself overthinking it." He looks at me, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Okay I'm ready to hear about these dudes. I don't want to get all up in your business, but if they're causing you trouble, just say the word. Elijah and I will pull up on 'em."

I shake my head, smiling. "Nah, they're not jerks. It's just that things have gotten a bit...complicated."

Zay raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "Complicated how?"

I chuckle, feeling the warmth creeping onto my cheeks. "Okay, so it's like a love rectangle," I started.

Zay's eyes widen. "A whole rectangle? Damn, Ari."

I roll my eyes with a sheepish grin. "I know, it sounds ridiculous. Trust me, I'm just as annoyed at myself. But honestly, it's not entirely my fault." I waved out my hand.