Forlorn Hearts

solah

Falak had found being a human hard enough, being a woman only made things harder. With being a woman, she had to be a daughter, a sister and a mother, all roles gave her more responsibilities. She had failed every role in her life.

Not long after Anita left, the man called Sarfaraz had come home. Amma introduced them to each other, she told her he was Ishir's close friend since he was a kid. He was a lawyer too, she had added. He helped them with their divorce case.

"I am sorry I couldn't come to the get-together," his eyes were almost hazel or almost blue. She couldn't figure it out, but they were mesmerising.

"That's alright," she feebly smiled at him.

"How's Darsh doing?"

Falak passed him her baby after he sanitised his hands, he was cranky after waking up. Sarfaraz sat him in his lap, and smiled at him. Darsh was back at flaring his arms and kicking his legs.

"He's still very fussy," he laughed.

Falak walked upstairs to call Ishir, the tensed atmosphere in the house had peeled off like clipped paint as the sun set in. Amma's shoulders looked relaxed now and Appa and Yashika were arguing over her nickname. But the air between Ishir and Falak had yet to be swept cleaned. She needed time to process everything, he needed time to be ready to talk to her.

And she knew she'd give him all the time in the world. That's what they promised each other in the start. So even if every hug around his arms felt hollow to her, Falak imagined that it would fill up one day. She knew that night when she told him that she could find herself falling in love with him, the hug he'd given her was from his speechlessness. He was shocked at the fact she had told him something like that, like he'd never thought there was a possibility that she would love him.

She ran her hand through her hair, she wondered of all the times she'd seen Ishir so confident and tall. He had told her, he wanted this marriage to work for Darsh. He wanted it to be a real marriage. Then why had he even been speechless at the fact she could love him? Was all his confidence a reflection of something else? Or did he find himself unlovable?

Her heart ached a little. She opened the door to see Ishir on his desk. She asked him softly if he was working.

"No," he looked up, finally catching her eyes. She looked away then, scared that she'd see the reflection of her thoughts in them. "Is Sarfaraz here?"

"Yes."

"Come here, Falak."

Her nails dung into the wooden frame of the door. "He's waiting for you."

He looked tired then, miserable even. His eye bags were defined with the light that fell on his face. His hair looked more unkempt than usual, the trace of hardness in his eyes looked like an illusion now. Like all that hard exterior was only jelly, it looked rough and tough but when you touched it, you'd know the truth.

"Please," he pleaded.

Her face scrunched up in worry, she walked near him and asked him if he was okay.

"I am not," he said. "I am so scared to know what you think of me."

Falak didn't expect him to say that, she cupped his face and looked at him in the eye now. There were tears in his eyes. She wiped them away for him, slowly and gently.

"Why. . ." her mouth was dry and she wet her lips to speak. "Why did you divorce her?"

There was no cruelty in her words, she hoped he didn't perceive it with such emotions. But the agony in her eyes was far from being extinguished. She had so many questions she needed answers to but seeing someone crying who you never thought had the ability to shed a single tear tore her heart.