Forlorn Hearts

paanch

"So it's like a marriage of convenience?" Amrit asked. She'd called Bani but he had picked up instead because she was bathing. They'd ended up talking about what she so desperately wanted to. He told her he'd try to get a background check on Ishir Naicker as soon as possible.

". . . I guess so," she whispered quietly on the phone, her legs tucked in as she lay on her bed.

Ishir Naicker could have a mother for his son, and, Falak could have the chance to be a mother. The more she thought about being a mother, the more she thought this opportunity was a gift from God. And the happier she got, so much so that she forgot to see reason and logic. That she seemed to forget that what had marriage actually done to her and could do much worst.

"Well, it is better if you move out of that house, Falak." Amrit paused a little, playing with his words. "Also, are you seeing a therapist?"

She pursed her lips. ". . . Therapy doesn't work for me."

Before he could proceed, she heard Bani screeching, taking her phone away and she yelled. "Falak! You didn't tell me anything, why are you saying this MBBS guy first?"

She smiled weakly; her cheek pressed on her pillow. "I embarrassed myself."

"Did you cry?"

"Yes."

"There is nothing embarrassing about crying, Falak," she huffed, biting on her chikki. "Don't think crying makes you weak, I hate that. It doesn't. Not crying does."

She heard Amrit letting out a 'Oof', Bani probably had hit him from taking her favorite sweet.

"I am scared."

"Don't overthink," she pleaded. "I always wanted you out of that house. Always. And I am so happy that you finally can! Just think of that, that you'd not have to stay where your parents keep taunting you."

Possibly also not being physically hit, she thought to herself. "He has a son."

"He has a what?" she screamed.

Falak pulled the phone away from her bleeding ear, her face twisted. "A baby, he has a small kid and that is why he's ready to marry me even if. . . if I can't give birth."

Bani was silent for a moment, they had never openly spoke about her infertility. Falak hadn't. She didn't know what to say, if she ever spoke of it to any other women, even her best friend she'd only feel jealous.

"That's a plot twist I didn't see coming," she sighed. "Wow, what are you thinking then, Falak?"

"I don't know what I feel," she sniffed. "It's like God takes something so precious from me, I always wanted to be a mother. And now. . . I can. . . . .in a way and, it's like maybe, maybe it won't be bad, you know? Maybe it's a sign from God, whatever is happening now."

"It's another plus point then, right?" she asked. "You'll get out of that toxic house and you can be a mother, Falak. You, are finally getting the things you wanted."

"That is why. . . it is scary?" she cried out, "The last time something nice happened. . . I thought I was pregnant because I kept feeling sick and we were all so happy. My husband was so happy and his parents too. And then I went to the doctor and then, t-then he said I couldn't even give birth."

These were some things she'd never shared with anyone. The memories were too piercing, the garden it grew in was rotten. Going back, visiting them brought her so much pain. She felt it in her chest.

"That bastard. . . ." Bani sighed, talking about her ex-husband. "H-He changed you know? Like after you got married. I know people changed but his was so. . . drastic. I don't know if you saw it coming or whatever but then I didn't like him as much anymore, you know? And to be honest, what he did. . . I saw it coming. Like, I knew he could be capable of doing something like that. But you met Ishir, Falak, did he give any such signs?"