"Children Of Sunset" BoyxBoy

Children Of Sunset 18

I didn't ask to be 'odd'. But maybe I am. I reckon that there's no way to explain what comes over me whenever I look Colby in the eyes and he's looking back into mine. No way that I can expect them to recognize the luxury of petting his hair...touching his skin...or tasting his kiss. You'd think that it would make me feel special and blessed to appreciate somebody that other people can't and never will. Not like I would. And yet...instead...I just feel...

...'Odd'.

My thoughts stayed twisted in knots for the rest of the day, with my stomach not far behind. I couldn't let it go. Lord knows that I tried, but the further I tried to push dreamy thoughts of Colby out of my mind...the deeper his beauty weaved itself into me. Had his pretty smile been a poison, I would have fallen over a long time ago. But as the sun was beginning to set, and my evening chores were close to being over and done with, I found myself staring back over at the fire that I hadn't found the courage to light yet.

Should I? Or should I leave it alone?

I could walk away from this chaos. No darkness, no odd feelings, no monsters with bright golden eyes. I've been given a chance to escape this hellish temptation and possibly get back to a normal life in a rational world without any of these plagues resting heavy on my shoulders. It's possible, ain't it? I'll forget in time. Or at least numb the pain of it all. I did it when I lot my mama...I could maybe do it again. All I know is that I'll be bringing a trio of devils into my life if I set the fire to burn again once it gets dark. I could do it. I could call his lovely heart right back to me.

But, I reckon that life ain't always about being 'happy'. Sometimes being happy ain't what's right...

"Deacon? You come on in now and get you some supper." My Uncle Buster called out to me. My thoughts were broken instantly, but I told him I'd be coming in as soon as possible.

"I gotta put Benny in the stables first." I called back.

"Don't get yourself too tangled. Everything smells divine. You might just miss out on a portion or two if you ain't quick enough on your feet." He smiled, and I grinned back at him before taking Benny by the reigns and guiding him back to where he needed to be.

The sky was getting dark now. It caused me to take a long, hard look back into the darkness...my heart breaking as I gently closed my eyes and turned my back on it. I need to let it go. Maybe I always knew that I'd have to eventually...so why not now? Now...before my heart rots any further in my chest than it already has.

Sitting at the dinner table, it wasn't no secret that I was being much more quiet than normal. Hungry as I was, it was like the food didn't have any sort of significant taste to it. The water was warm, my chair felt uncomfortable and out of line, and I didn't dare to look anybody in the eye for fear of having them bear witness to the disturbance within me. It's not like they couldn't tell, though.

"You know...your momma used to make that same face when something was troubling her." My daddy grinned, and he looked over at Buster, who nodded in agreement with a smile. "If you ain't the spittin' image of her, sometimes. Does my heart good to see reflections of her in you, boy. It's like the past replaying itself all over again."

"She looked the same way when she started getting all tangled up over you too, 'Sheriff'. Heh..." Buster replied, still shoveling more of my daddy's stew in his mouth until the juices dribbled down his chin.

"Did she now? Well, in that case, I'm honored." Daddy replied, and just seeing them be so normal and open about the whole idea...somethin' about just made me feel that much more alone. "You getting enough to eat, there, Deacon."

"Yes, sir." I told him, my eyes still sadly focused on the tabletop. "Ain't got much of an appetite tonight, is all."

He seemed concerned, but Buster interrupted his focus by saying, "You can scrape the pot for me if you like. My appetite is working just fine, rations like this."