Magicblazer Oneshots

Back To Me

"Damn, you're hot..."

"Fuck- fuck me harder... please.."

"Right... um... Conner..?" Now that I got past the blinding sun and part of my hangover, I got a good look at the guy.

What the fuck was I thinking?

How drunk was I?

I hope he was good, at least.

"I'm impressed."

The guy, Conner, smiled at me, gently holding my face.

"You- I- I should-"

My phone rang, cutting me off. "Hey, who's- who's Jo-"

"Don't pick up. Hang- hang up."

Why the fuck is he calling me this early in the morning? I know damn well he's still asleep or trying to at this time.

"Boyfriend?"

"Ex. Just hung up on me. No- you don't need to worry about him."

"I can see why..."

"I'm sorry, I- I need to go..."

Now, I'm thе rain over your parade

*

"Where's your whore, Constantine?"

"Bold of you to assume I can't kick your arse without her. Don't need her. Worked fine without her, I'll manage without."

"You've grown dependent on her, John..."

"Like hell I have. I'll bet I can still kick your arse back to Hell."

"Bold promises, empty ones. Let's see if the great Constantine holds up to what he is supposed to be..."

"Let's play, you bloody arsehole."

Fifteen minutes and a whole lot of spells later, and this arsehole's back where he belongs.

"Told this fucking shithead that I didn't need Zee..." I mutter, lighting a cigarette. "Fuck, I need a drink."

"Dinah, Dinah, please, Luv, jus' let me talk to Zee, just for a m-"

"You're out of your mind if you think she would even want to see your face, let alone-"

"Just for two minutes."

"Hell no. She doesn't want anything to do with you. Do you have any idea how many times she's cried over you? Are you fucking insane? You don't deserve to even see her, let alone talk to her."

"I have the ability to fucking teleport, Dinah. Don't make me."

"If you actually loved her? You wouldn't need to fucking magic your way to see her. John, let her be. It's been a fucking week, you haven't died yet."

"Yet, being the key word. Had some pretty close calls."

"Then pick your fights wiser, John."

"Let me talk, jus' for-"

"You're drunk. Call her when you're sober, you'll have better luck then." She hung up. "For fuck's- you know what, fine."

My phone rang, once again. "John Constantine, Master of the Dark Arts, blah, blah, blah. How can I help you, arsehole?"

"John, you can st-... you're drunk, I'll call you back later."

"Nah, nah, calm down, Anne. I can handle whatever bloody arsehole's bothering you this time, regardless of how many drinks I've had. What's going on, now?" Leave it to Anne, take all the fun out of being drunk. As soon as magic is involved, I sober up real fast.