White Lily (Dazai Osamu x gn! Reader)

Raindrops

It was a rare day for you. That's for sure. Today it was raining hard. The cries of thunder could be heard from both near and far. Meanwhile, fickle streams of lightning flashed through the view of the foggy windows of the Port Mafia headquarters.

Today was unlike any other: For the first time in a while, you didn't need to be by Dazai.

Man. A real breath of fresh air.

You stared out and watched as raindrops trickled down the window. Two droplets raced, one stopping after swiftly traveling a short distance. It stayed there a while, seemingly going untouched by other droplets. Meanwhile, the other joined with another droplet, the two becoming one with the other. They disappeared altogether. Consumed. Their original shapes and likeness gone.

There was a hint of melancholy in the downpour for you. A rare feeling indeed. You couldn't help but want to merge with the drops as well. Forget everything and take a new form. And just like that, slide away, swish in and out of a mundane existence.

The rain pittered and pattered on the window. Harshly, and then softly. Comforting, then aggressive.

You gazed at the way the drops ran down your own reflection. The swirl of water on the window distorted your face, creating a hazy blur in front of you. The droplets were scattered on your eyes, your hair, your shirt, everything. Kinda like the raindrops didn't realize you're there. Or perhaps, they just chose to ignore your reflection.

Raindrops vainly only ever cared for their own likeness it seems.

Nothing's changed after all this time.

You sat down on a coarse chair and leaned against the cold window. The moisture of it clung to your skin and it was uncomfortable at first. Quickly, you wipe off the wetness from your face and proceed to wipe off part of the window with your bare hands. You finally lean back onto the dry window now, and let your eyelids slowly droop down.

An unfulfilled existence this is. A raindrop that never seemed permitted to fall.

For a few minutes, you drifted off into the land of dreams. They were vague, but vibrant. Airy, but grounded. No matter what they were about though, you knew you'd have to wake up.

And you were right.

You flit your eyes open and sat up as you heard a door open. Soft footsteps clicked as you turned to see a certain man walk in.

"Oh, hey. You're that weird immortal, aren't you."

Chuuya Nakahara. He gives you a curious look. You notice that unlike every other time you've seen him, he isn't wearing his hat. Somehow, he seems more...approachable than how you normally see him?

"Yeah, that's me."

The two of you stare at each other in silence. You both give that 'I know him, and he knows me, but really we know nothing of each other so what do we even talk about?' kind of look...

After a few moments of intensely awkward silence, Chuuya pipes up.

"Hey, you gonna, say anything or what???"

"Hm? Not really. I was just sitting here until you came in. I've got nothing to say." You say cooly. For the second time, you both fall into silence. You stare at him blankly and he stares back. You could see his patience thinning as his face slowly scrunched in slight frustration. He started tapping his foot and again, he piped up after extended silence.

"Okay, okay. I'll just address the elephant in the room..." You tilt your head slightly at his words. You're not entirely sure what this 'elephant' was supposed to be. Or uh well, you kinda can given the both of your histories but...

"Are you not with that sack of bandages today?"

Ah that.

"No. Not today."

For the third and final time, you both fall into silence. Chuuya seems ready to fume with this socially awkward situation he's in. He points a finger at you and starts talking.

"Okay, listen You. Are you not going to expand on anything??? You're just going to leave the conversation at that?"

You nod instantly in confirmation. Heh, if he wants more of a response from you, he can fish it out. For now though, he's messing up your quiet time. So why make an easy conversation, eh?

Truth is, you're waiting for Mori right now. He said he wanted to speak with you, however he didn't care to specify a time to do so. You're somewhat thankful you didn't need to go work out in the storm, but at the same time, it irritates you that it threw off your plans for today.

You were supposed to do some rounds as usual with Dazai today, but then after, you were planning to concentrate on your list of ideas to escape the mafia. You'd been busy the past couple of days, so you weren't able to jot anything down recently.

You focus your attention back on the conversation (or well, lack thereof). Chuuya speaks up once again, this time in slight resignation toward the awkwardness.

"Okay fine. Never mind Dazai." Chuuya turns and steps back, starting to head toward another door.

You internally rejoice. Back to your alone time! A nap and wallowing in your melancholy is just what you need right now! You can't wait to drift off and go get some-

"Wait. Before I leave, just let me ask you something."

Aw. Heck, Chuuya. You were so close to peace... :(

Disappointed, you respond to him lazily, visibly drooping a tiny bit.

"Ehhh? What is it?"

"You still remember that day, don't you?"

Oh. That. How could you forget? That was the day you joined the Port Mafia after all.

"Yeah, I do. What about it?"

Chuuya looks away, a tiny bit distraught.

"I heard from Dazai and Mori that were close to getting assassinated because you tried leaving the mafia... But I guess it was my fault you joined in the first place, wasn't it?"

.............

Author's Note:

Okay so I've been realizing I update this story really spurratically. I just want to let you guys know updates are probably going to start going closer to weekly with school coming up (welp)...Sorry about it becoming more infrequent. 😓

On a better note (I hope?), I'm thinking about starting a second Bungou series though. What kind of series do you think would interest you guys? Or, are there any ideas you wanted in a oneshot that you wished could've been a larger story?

Anyways, that's it from me. See you in the next update!