leah williamson- enemies to lovers

part 12- confusing

Tomorrow was game day. We were playing sweden in the euros semi final. We knew it was going to be a hard match.

The only time me and leah spoke was when we were alone, when we hung around with our team she went back to her old ways, ignoring me and making stupid jokes at me. I never said anything to her about how i was feeling, I think i just liked the affection she gave me when it was just us, she made me feel safe.
As tomorrow was game day, we only had a light training mostly focusing on tactics. Throughout training i tried to get leah's attention but she didn't look over at me. As training came to a finish i headed back to the locker room and grabbed my phone, there was a message from Lena, "Good luck tomorrow G, might see u in the final!"
I wasn't sure why she messaged, we hadn't spoke since i stayed over at hers, but i had been thinking of her a lot these past few days. As i responded to Lena's message, the rest of the team entered the locker room, getting ready to head back to their rooms.

I wasn't sure if i was ready to see leah and come clean with how i was feeling. So i asked Rach if i could hang in her room for a while before we went for dinner. "You know u don't have to ask to hang with me," Rach laughed as we walked to her room, "I know" I replied turning slightly red. "Lena messaged me," i tell Rach as she throws her belongings on her bed. "What? Why, what did she say," Rach exclaimed whipping her head round to face me, " she just said good luck for the game tomorrow," i reply, rach still looking confused. "But u haven't spoke since you broke up, so why all of a sudden is she messaging you." I realised at this point that Rach didn't know I had stayed over at Lena's, I wasn't sure if i was going to tell her. Rach wasn't the biggest fan of Lena as when we were together we always argued, nothing ever serious but Rach was always on my side. "You've seen her haven't you," Rach added breaking the silence, "I can tell by your face." I tried to hide the smile forming on my face, "No," i replied sarcastically. My face fell into my hands and we both couldn't help but laugh, "why didn't u say anything gracie!" Rach said punching my arm lightly, "i'm not sure," i replied, "nothing really happened, well that's a lie," I told Rach about when we kissed and that i stayed over at hers but i missed the part out about Leah being jealous. I looked at the time and realised we have 5 minutes to get to dinner, we quickly changed and headed down. We were the last ones there so seating was slightly limited, Rach grabbed her food and sat next to Millie who had saved her a seat. I looked around the room trying to find a seat when Lucy shouted me over to sit next to her. As i sit down next to Lucy, I look up only to be met with piercing blue eyes staring right at me. It was Leah. She gave me a soft smile which i didn't return and started to talk to Lucy about the media stuff she did today. I could feel Leah's feet brushing up against mine but i chose to ignore her and carry on my conversation with Lucy.

Leah left dinner early but no one questioned it as she said she had a headache. I couldn't tell if she was lying and part of me wanted to see if she was okay. I knew i shouldn't but i just really wanted to check on her. I waited a little while before leaving to make sure no one suspects anything, I say bye to everyone on my table and head back to my room. I was still annoyed with Leah so i wasn't sure how it was going to go when i saw her. I hesitate before opening the door to our room, i take a deep breath and slowly open the door. Leah was lying on the bed watching something on her phone, "you feeling okay," I ask sitting on the edge of the bed, "i'm fine" she says bluntly pulling herself up bringing her knees to her chest. "Are you sure, you said u had a headache, "i ask in a confused tone. "Think i'm just tired," Leah replies placing her head on her knees and staring into my eyes. A smile starts to grow on her face and i instantly want to kiss her but i can't. She has made me feel awful all week, i can't do that to myself. Leah tries to grab my hand but i pull it away, her smile drops but her eyes don't move from mine. "What was that for?" she asked surprised, "What was what?" i asked innocently, i didn't know what else to say in the moment, i couldn't form any words. "You know what i'm talking about," Leah's tone was now more stern, "why did you move your hand away, have i done something?" "Leah," i start to say before she interrupts, "you can tell me anything Gracie, you know that."
"Leah this," i sigh running my hands through my hair, "you're so nice and affectionate to me when it's just us but as soon as we're in-front of everyone you go back to acting like you don't like me!" i say standing up from the bed and walking to the kitchen area. "G i don't mean it, that's just how I am, you know that," she's now stood opposite me leaning on the counter top. "Leah i don't know, you're like two different people," i add, looking up at her with a tear falling from my eye, "How do i know that your not pretending with me and your being genuine," i say wiping my tears. Before Leah could say anything my phone starts to ring. It's Lena. I don't pick up, instead i put it on silent and put it back in my pocket. "Who was it?" Leah questioned, "Just Lena" i respond. "Oh, okay" Leah replied walking back to the bed. I could tell she's annoyed but i didn't want to fight with Leah tonight, I try to tell Leah that nothing is going on between me and Lena but she doesn't believe me. "you still like her don't you." Leah's asks while staring out the window. I didn't know what to say, I had been thinking about Lena a lot but i wasn't sure if it was just because i actually liked her or i was annoyed about leah and Jordan still. "Leah, I don't know," i replied honestly, "I'm not sure what i think about anything right now," i add sitting next to her on the bed, "I think i just need a break from whatever this is," I reply gesturing as the both of us. "But G i really like you," she adds turning to face me, i couldn't move, i stared at my hands i knew if i faced her i would just want to kiss her, "Leah i just can't believe you yet, this has moved so quick and the thing with you and Jordan, just i don't know, i think we just need to take things slow," i reply. "Please don't say anything now, we can talk more in the morning," i say placing a soft kiss on her forehead.
That night we went to bed and didn't speak one word, her back was turned away from me and all i could see was her messy blonde hair on her pillow next to me. I really missed her that night.