All's Fair in Love and Las Vegas

Chapter Two

        "Alright, let's see if we can put this whole thing behind us by lunch," Grayson said optimistically as the car stopped. I followed him outside and into the scary-looking office building, trying to keep up with his long strides.

        We had to take a number and wait our turn, so we sat in the huge waiting room. It was hot and stuffy, with scratchy chairs. Typical government office. Grayson and I didn't dare look at each other, even though we were sitting all of two inches apart. I did my best to imagine that I was alone, waiting for something as trivial as renewing my license plate, or perhaps taking a picture for my driver's license.

        Finally, after what felt like years, I heard our number called. I stood up so fast I almost slammed into the chair in front of me. Grayson helped me regain my balance, only making me more embarrassed. I blushed as I followed him to the counter, my orange flip-flops squeaking loudly.

        The woman at the counter looked like she could already tell that we were going to be just a darling little problem. "How many I help you?"

        "Hi, erm, we accidentally got married last night, and we were wondering if you could be so kind as to help us get it annulled?" Grayson asked, forever polite.

        The woman frowned at us. "Accidentally?"

        "Yes, it appears that ah, neither of us were in our right minds and we honestly have no knowledge of the event ever happening," he said, his cheeks turning a faint pink.

        "Okay, let me see your IDs," she sighed, as if this were a regular occurrence. Actually, it probably was.

        I faltered. "I've lost mine," I said sheepishly.

        Another long sigh. "Do you have yours, sir?"

        "Right here," Grayson said, giving me an apologetic look.

        The woman hardly glanced at it before peering up at him. "You're from Canada, young man."

        "Yes ma'am," he said nervously.

        "I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Answell, you're going to have to file for divorce if you want to terminate this marriage, seeing as you're not citizens of the same nation. Not to mention you don't have your ID, ma'am," she said. Her evergreen gum was almost nauseating.

        My breath caught in my throat. "You're sure? There's nothing we can do?" I asked, panicking for what had to be the twentieth time this morning.

        "Well, either that, or you build a time machine and prevent your husband from being born in Vancouver," the woman said simply. Honestly, that sounded slightly simpler.

        Something else registered. "I'm sorry, you said Mrs. Answell?" I asked, not needing one more horrific chapter to this story.

        She nodded. "That's how you signed your name, therefore that's the record of a legal name change," she said, sounding sympathetic for the two morons before her. It's us. We're the morons.

        "Okay, okay, breathe, Jackie," Grayson said in alarm as I tensed up and lost my lungs. "It's okay, I have good lawyers, we'll work it all out."

        The hysteria was taking over. "I changed my name," I whispered. "HOW DID I CHANGE MY NAME?"

        "Thank you," he quickly said to the woman, leading me back outside to the sunshine. I'm his houseplant now. He has to feed me and water me and put me in the sun to make sure I don't collapse. How I have shrunk in character in a matter of hours.