She Loves Me?

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Y/n's POV:

I folded up the letter I had written to Soda and put it in an envelope. As much as it hurt to write that, I feel a bit better. I mean- I was still miserable because I couldn't be with Soda, but I know now that he'll be happy with her. And that's all that matters.

I looked over to my bed, and saw the torn up sheets and messed up pillows. I stripped the bed, and put everything in the washing machine. Might as well clean myself up. I hopped into the shower and took an everything shower. (Ifykyk) 

After my shower, I dried my hair and got myself into fresh clothes. I did a bit of skin care. The puffy state my face was in earlier and gone down and I was grateful for that. I put the sheets that were in the washer, in the dryer and went back to my room to clean it up a little. Organizing had always made me feel a bit better about my life.

"Hey Cookie, I'm gonna head to be- what are you doing?" Steve asked as he walked into me cleaning.

"I'm cleaning. It makes me feel better. You ask me that every time Steve," I say with a slight chuckle. "Oh before you go, this is for Soda. Can you give it to him tomorrow when you leave for work?"

I handled Steve the letter and he gave me a soft smile. "Sure Cookie. Night."

"Night Steve." I went back to cleaning my room. By then the dryer was done so I put the fresh sheets on my bed. When I was done, I stood there admiring my work. My room looked a lot cleaner and I felt a lot better. "Little things," I whispered smiling to myself. I wasn't going to recover overnight, but I can do the little things to make myself better.

Soda's POV:

I woke up looking like Y/n had yesterday. My eyes were puffy, and I was a little light headed. I slowly got up, and my head started to pound. You need to go to work. I got out of bed, and hopped into the shower. After my shower I put on fresh clothes, and headed to the kitchen. I grabbed some cake, and Darry looked up at me.

"You okay?" He asked with a concerned look on his face.

"I'm fine. Just a hard day at work." Darry saw right through my lie- I could see it on his face. But he didn't push any further.

I left for work and saw Steve working on a car. "Hey," I said as I walked over to him.

"Hey."

We sat there for about a minute or so. "How's Cookie?" I was almost scared about what he was going to ask.

"Cleaned her room last night."

We both knew what that meant. I stared at the ground. I was about to head into the DX to work the counter before Steve stopped me.

"Hey Soda, wait. Cookie wanted me to give this to you," he said while handing me an envelope. "You might to sit down for it. I didn't read it, but I could imagine it's pretty deep."

"Okay, I'll read it inside." Now I was really scared for what this letter said. Oh Y/n, please don't do anything stupid. I walked into the store and sat behind the counter. I built up the courage to open the envelope. Inside was a letter.

Dear Soda,

I'm not sure how to tell you this. I'm in love with you. I know you like that other girl, and I don't want to get in the way of that. When you saw me earlier today, your face only brought me back to the other night when you were talking about her. I realized then that I was in love with you, but I was scarred to love someone like you because how could you love someone like me? B/f/n cheated on me. He abused me. He got drunk and hit me. I covered up these scars with my makeup, put on a happy face, and pretended like everything was okay. I didn't even have the heart to tell Steve. I wanted to leave him, but at the same time, I thought I loved him. I didn't want him to get hurt, and I knew he would if anyone found out. Maybe it was the fear that he'd come back and hurt me, or any of you if I told someone. Soda, I love you. But I know you love her. I don't want you to have to choose. So, pick her. She makes you happy. You said so yourself. You feel safe when she smiles at you. I hope she likes you back, and you guys have a good life together. I hope you get married and have kids, and grow old together. I hope she treats you like a king. I hope you treat her like a queen. Bye, Soda.

                                                                                  -Y/n Randle

I was crying at the end of the letter. She loved me back, but didn't know I was talking about her the other night. Also, B/f/n abused her?! He HIT her?! No one hurts my Y/n. Steve needs to read this. I ran outside to show him.

"Steve, you need to read this," I say while shoving the letter in his face.

When he was done, he was on the brink of tears too. "Let's go. Close the DX for the day. We need to see Cookie," he said with a cold expression on his face. I knew what he was feeling. I felt it too.

Y/n's POV:

I woke up that morning feeling a bit better then yesterday. I definitely slept better. I walked over to the mirror and looked at myself. All the bad thoughts came flooding into my head. I was instantly filled with regret of what I said in that letter. I had memories come back to me of b/f/n abusing and hitting me. The bruises and scars I had.

I went into the bathroom and my eyes met the razor.

WARNING: This next paragraph include self harm. Please don't ever feel like this. I know it's hard. But it'll get better. You just need to believe in yourself. I love you <3.

The thought crossed my mind. No, don't do this. A voice had said. It'll take all your pain away. Another had said. I grabbed the razor and sat down on the tile floor. I held it above my wrist. "I love you, Sodapop Curtis."

I was about to cut myself when I heard a voice behind me. "I love you too, Y/n Randle."

A/n:

Hey guys! If you have ever felt like harming yourself, or have, please don't! It's truly not worth it! I know it sucks right now, but you made it through today, and I love you for that <3. You're doing a great job. Just keep hanging in there. To get to the rainbow, you have fly through the storm first. You can make it. I believe in you. Have a wonderful day!!!

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