SuperCorptober 2022

Secrets

Summary: I don't want to be brave. I just want to be myself. I don't want to be alone anymore.

Notes: Two in the space of a week! Not really, this has just been sitting on my laptop for about a month and I forgot it existed till last night. This does contain spoilers for Merlin, but not much. Set somewhere during the whole Agent Liberty thing. They reveal some secrets about themselves, basically, Kara and Lena tell each other who they are.

As always, let me know what you think.

Riv Riv :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes 

"I don't want to be brave. I just want to be myself. I don't want to be alone anymore."

Living forever. It seems like an inviting concept, right. You see the world change and evolve, empires rise and fall, and humanity learn and grow. But then, history had a way of repeating itself, like a stuck record. The same story, just in a different font, trying to dance its input into society, just to be filed away in the brains of those who bear the curse of remembering. Will humanity ever learn? Perhaps not, but then that's what makes it society.

This burden weighed heavily on Lena, particularly this morning. In a way, she was thankful her curse allowed her to die and be reborn, offering the small escape that was childhood from the horrors of humanity. But it was beginning to happen again; the human race had again chosen a target and zeroed in. It wasn't some fraction of people they had surrounded; it wasn't those who believed in different gods, who came from other countries, who had different skin. No, they zeroed in on those who truly felt most alone in the world, aliens. Refugees had lost not just their home and country but their planet and culture, clinging on with all they had to the last remains of home in this world.

She remembered what that was like, to be so scared of the world that fighting it seemed all but useless. To be terrified of who you are, burying your soul so deep down you forget who you are. Hiding away from her family because heavens forbid if her father found out, it wouldn't just be a night in the dungeons for challenging his ways. It would be a date with the gallows, the first course being the noose around her neck, and one final trip back to the castle in a coffin. Morgana wondered how people could be so deaf and blind to the very needs of the people they profess to serve and protect?

"Lena? Can I come in?" She was drawn out of her mind by the familiar voice of the blonde reporter knocking on the office door. "Yes, sorry, I was in my own world there." Kara sat down with a concerned look for the raven-haired woman. She had not seen her friend look so lost before. It was almost like she was numb to the events around her, like watching a memory unfold in the wind. "Snapper sent me here to get your opinion on the events surrounding Agent Liberty." Lena hummed in response, "I can come back if you would rather? Sorry for interrupting."

Before Kara could reach the door, several things ran through Lena's mind. She could give two opinions on the matter, one off the record and tell Kara who she is. The other on record, calling him out for what he was, was nothing more than a tyrant losing his power to the changing times. A man who would instead make the world toxic and terrible than conquer his own fears. A mask that she had worn before, and there was no doubt he would end up the same. Dying alone, realising she had become the very thing she was fighting against. Telling Kara who or, more accurately, what she was might give the blonde courage to open up. If not, it could provide Lena with some kind of comfort if the blonde didn't shy away. Someone to know all of her, not just the mask on display.

"Kara, wait! I'm not really with it. History just has its ways of repeating." The reporter was confused about the last statement. Sure, she had heard it before, but from old war vets, it was something grandparents said to children. It was not something she was expecting to come out of the 23-year-old. "Please sit down? I want to tell you about a person. This is off the record; I'll give you an on-record answer later." The reporter nodded, putting her phone and notepad in her bag and turning her full attention back to the woman next to her. She felt the air shift around them, seemingly cooling the room. She could have sworn she saw Lena's eyes go from green and blue to a glowing yellow, even if it was just for a second.