Unlovable

.18.

"Get the fuck away from me!"

I pushed him.

They say change is a long process. Not everytime though. It took only few seconds for me to feel the change in professor Adrian's behaviour. I could hardly breath, and this change eat now something I ever thought I would experience. My whole body shivered from terror. Hell, the whole moment was no where romantic for me, if that is what was assumed. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide and clean my whole body. This was the most horrible thing —getting touched by a professor like that. He wasn't my professor anymore, yes, but that doesn't change the fact on how I felt about him. I wanted to slap him and his handsome features did not look so handsome and good anymore. I felt like he was some kind of antagonist in my life.

"What's wrong?" He looked at me with confusion plastered on his face. He had the freaking audacity to be actually confused with my behaviour when he was the one confusing the heck out of me. I wanted to slap that face any time now.

"How dare you touch me like that?" I felt humiliated and out of the place because of this all incident.

"Lily, calm down-" he started approaching me again and I raised my hands up, getting alarmed and scared all over again. If he approached me once again, I was going to lose my shit.

The door was close to me, and I needed to make a run for it. I was feeling terrified, and  so scared that I could not even express it in proper English words. I did not like him at all.  Fear was rushing through my veins and I wanted to just escape this anyhow.

"Don't come near me!" I screamed out, ready to push him again or worse, fight with him. I was so enraged and petrified that I would end up hurting him or getting hurt myself if he came closer to me again.

His words rang in my head. So all this time, the only reason why he wanted to help me was to get close to me. His intentions were never clearer before and now I was slowly realising the bigger picture. I wanted to regret ever meeting such a man like him. It was intolerable to stay under the same roof with him anymore. He only came to me because he was attracted to me. It was not friendly or platonic. He had romanticised me, which made me feel nauseous to the core. I regretted ever portraying him as my some one close back at the hospital when my hand was burned. My sudden act of foolishness might had triggered him to have actually feelings for me.

How could I be so fucking foolish, I cursed myself under my breath. Not everyone around me had good intentions, and I was learning this so late. I could only hope it was not too late now.

"Lily, please, I did not mean that—"

"What do you mean?! The fuck!" I glared at him with anger out of his unacceptable behaviour, "Your intentions were always like this, on me?! Did you take that day in Hospital seriously! Isn't it, Adrian—"

"Would you please-" however, I interrupted him immediately because there was no way I would even let him defend himself for the stunt he pulled. Vincenzo needed to know about this as well. First I already had an enemy waiting to end my life and now a damn professor who wanted to make me his. How sick my life was.

"Don't give me all those lame excuses, is this the reason why you wanted to get me from Vincenzo Genesis," I muttered, "you had a feeling that I was dating him and that's why you always asked that question but you out of all-"

"Shut the fuck up!" He shouted out loudly, startling me all of a suddenly, "shut the fuck up, Lily or I know how to keep girls like you shut."

"That's a threat," I stared at the man in front of me unbelievably. He was the same man I was finding a good company with. I even thought he was a good man. Alas, my choices weren't so accurate as usual.

"Yes it is, but you are under a bigger threat, Lily Evans," He walked over to you and looked down at me with sharpness in his eyes and voice. His face was tight and his eyes were filled with a certain seriousness and his movements seemed so confident. However, I couldn't wrap up my mind on whatever exactly he was trying to imply.

I was under a bigger threat— the statement was indeed a correct one. I was under a mightier problem but that was a different story. Nobody would ever know a slight of it because I and Vincenzo were the only people who knew the looming problems over us.

"What do you even mean?!" I questioned hastily.

I couldn't wait for him to continue. Looking at the clock, I saw as it made the same tick-tock like every clock did. The sound was not soothing. It matches my heart beat and I could feel it thumped against my chest.

"I thought it won't require for me to tell you this," he sighed, looking down and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "but you aren't understanding by any other means, I am so sorry, Lorenzo."

The name of my lover's brother, the leader of Italian Mafia and currently, trying hard to survive an attack made my his enemies, was there on the lips of my so called professor Adrian blew away the rest of the senses that were working in my mind. Now everything felt unreal and unbelievable. There was no way he would know Lorenzo, unless something else was the matter, which I was afraid of. My mind did not work anymore, for I did not know what was happening. All of a suddenly, everything was changing. My beliefs, my thoughts- every single thing that I knew was looking rather questionable.

"How...?" I could only whisper out at his words.

He shook his head and started walking around me, "I was told by Lorenzo not to say this to you, but now that the way I thought is not working, so I have to give you my real identity now," he stopped in front of me and looked into my eyes without even flinching.

His hands gently gripped my shoulders, and I felt numb to do anything about it, "I am Adrian, Lorenzo's closest friend."

I looked at him as if he was some kind of an alien taking to me in an unexplained language.

"You are lying."

"No, I am not," he shook his head, "I know my friend was attacked."

"How do you know that?!” I took a cautionary step back from him.

He turned around and walked towards his desk, "Lily, the only reason I knew Vincenzo and you from before was because of Lorenzo. He was my closest friends since childhood and when he and his girlfriend was under attack, he only told me to come here and look at you both till he didn't become well."

I continued to stare at him, flabbergasted and shocked. I could not comprehend weather to believe him or not.

He kept talking, "It was difficult for me to look after you being a professor. That's why I planned to leave my work and you know, ask you to be mine. I thought you were interested in me given that you are not together with Vincenzo since Lorenzo told me you both were together. That day in the hospital I thought you were hinting me so today I did what any man would have done."

"I.." I gulped the lump forming in my throat, "I know..I did it out of anger and jealousy.. To spike Vincenzo...I am sorry Adrian.. I didn't mean to make you feel that way, I never wanted you to feel anything for me at all. I never saw you in that light."

He turned around to face me and walked over to me slowly, "And me too, Lily. I also don't see you in that light. All I ever want is to protect you because of my friend, Lorenzo. So I thought the other way was to make you mine," he stopped in front of me and looked down at me, "I won't deny I care for you, Lily. I really do. I haven't really cared for anyone in my life before, but you are different. I do like you."

"I can't believe.. You are Lorenzo's friend," I looked down, feeling heavy and held my head with my hands, "Why didn't anyone tell me this?"

"Because no one knew, apart from me and Lorenzo himself," he explained himself, "Lily, there is someone who is behind Vincenzo's life-"

"No," I culminated, "Not Vincenzo. It's me," I glanced at him, "There is someone who wants to kill me Lorenzo. Because I am close to Vincenzo, someone wants to end me in order to hurt Vincenzo."

"Vincenzo has made a lot of enemies," he nodded his head, staring at me, "But no one can harm you when I am around."

I sighed, wondering if whatever I was going to say would take me to Mr destination or somewhere darker, "Then be around me and Vincenzo, please."