This isn't just anybody though. This is Yunjin. Her best friend. The person who took not only her first kiss, but also her second. The only person she's ever kissed. The person she has sleepovers with and cuddles with and shares blankets on the sofa with when they're watching a movie. Her favourite person in the whole world.
She doesn't— she doesn't really know what she's going to do if Yunjin reacts badly. Suppress it as best as she can, probably. Push it down, bury it deep and refuse to acknowledge it until it starves and withers away.
She doesn't even realise her hands are shaking until one of Yunjin's gloved hands is reaching out and covering her own.
"Hey," Yunjin says, her voice quieter, sounding more worried. "Are you okay?"
Yunjin is her best friend. That has to count for something, right? Chaewon trusts her. Yunjin would never leave her. Best friends are supposed to tell each other everything, so if she can't trust Yunjin with this then who can she trust?
"No, I—" Chaewon manages to stutter out, before she can second guess herself. "I think— I think I need to tell you something, unnie."
Chaewon glances around; they're sitting on a bench beside one of the big magnolia trees, no one paying them any attention. There's an eldery couple on another bench further down the path, a woman pushing a stroller on the other side of the gardens, and some kids playing with their dog further away. No one is around to overhear, but that doesn't make it any less frightening.
Yunjin's thumb runs over the back of Chaewon's hand. It feels a little like the only thing stopping Chaewon from shattering into pieces and floating away on the gentle breeze.
"Take your time," Yunjin murmurs. So supportive, like she's always been. "You can tell me anything, I promise."
"You promise?" It slips out before Chaewon can think about it, and she berates herself for sounding so vulnerable.
"Yeah, I promise."
Chaewon sort of feels like she's having an out of body experience. Like she's watching herself slowly turn her hand over so she can slot their fingers together, watching herself nervously glance between their hands and Yunjin's open, expressive face, watching herself taking a leap of faith as she opens her mouth.
"I don't think I like boys. Um, like that. No, I know— I'm... I like girls, unnie. I, uh— I'm a lesbian."
And then it's out there. It's out. It was stuttered and whispered and possibly the most poorly constructed sentence Chaewon's ever spoken in her life, but she said it. She finally said it.
Chaewon can't breathe for a few seconds.
And then Yunjin's face softens, and the fist squeezing tightly around Chaewon's heart finally relaxes its grip, because it's okay. It's okay. There's no way Yunjin would look at her like that if she hated Chaewon now.
"Come here." Yunjin opens her arms and Chaewon falls into them, wrapping her own arms around Yunjin's waist and burying her face in her shoulder. "You think that's going to change how I see you? You're my best friend, I love you no matter what."
"I've— I've never said it before," Chaewon mumbles, muffled by the fabric of Yunjin's hoodie. "You're the first person I've told."
Chaewon feels Yunjin press a kiss to the top of her head, and she tries, mostly unsuccessfully, to blink back the tears she can feel pricking at her eyes. "Thank you for telling me. For trusting me enough to tell me. I'm so proud of you."
After Yunjin, it's a little easier to tell the others.
Jiwoo is the one who starts crying while they're hugging after Chaewon manages to blurt it out while they're watching some drama together and Jiwoo won't stop going on about how cute the main actor is.
YOU ARE READING
all my nights taste like gold / purinz
Fanfiction#3 purinz "It's not like- it won't be the first time we've kissed," Yunjin says. Slurs, really, her voice lower and her sentences slower than usual, which is just another reminder that neither of them are really in the right condition to be consider...
