Seeking Gaston Lynx Esquivel

Chapter 42

"Good evening, Eng. Ada." He was smiling widely as he stopped in front of the villa.

"Good evening too." I simply responded.

Bumaba siya at pinasadahan niya ako ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa.

"You look beautiful tonight...I mean, you always look beautiful." Then he chuckled a little bit.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit wala akong maramdaman sa kanya kahit katiting. The only thing that I am feeling right now is guilt. I don't even see him as a friend? I just see him as a co-worker.

Am I bad for that? Mahirap lang talaga akong magkaroon ng kaibigan. Ina was my only friend that I consider.

Sumakay na kami pareho at ilang minuto lang ay nakarating kami kaagad. I was indeed correct upon seeing the guest dresses. They all looked formal.

Ginaya kami ng isang waiter palabas. Pareho kaninang lunch ay sa may labas rin ang lamesa namin, it just that it was a two seater table this time.

We sat down and we quickly ordered our food. Bawat minutong lumilipas ay mas lalo akong naguguilty sa gagawin ko ngayon. I felt like I shouldn't give him hope by agreeing to this dinner.

Sana diretsahan na lang ang ginawa ko, but wasn't it too cruel?

"I'm glad you agreed to meet me tonight for dinner."

Naputol ang pag iisip ko ng magsalita siya. Should I say it now or after we eat? But before I could even think of it.

"I'm sorry, Eng. Alfredo. I wanted to be honest and I don't really feel a thing about you." I wanted to cover my mouth for saying those words straight to him like it was nothing.

I looked into his eyes and he was so shocked. Mas lalo akong naguilty. He chuckled forcely after.

Guilt is eating me alive now.

"I'm sorry...If this dinner gave you hope, but I am just here to tell you what I really feel." I  added more without looking at him this time.

A few seconds of silence dominate us. Then he suddenly started chuckling, tuluyan akong napatingin sa kanya. His eyes were softly looking at me.

"I mean...I kinda expected this one. And that you will say those words to me now. But not this fast." He looked hurt as he avoided my gaze.

"I'm sorry, Eng. Alfredo." I sincerely said.

"It's fine...I know my stand and I won't force myself on someone...thank you for being honest." He sincerely said too.

"Thank you…" Maliit na boses kong pasasalamat.

"Then, can we enjoy our dinner tonight?" Mas masiglang tanong niya sa akin ngayon.

I quickly nodded at sakto naman dumating na ang waiter dala-dala ang mga ulam namin.

"Okay, let's start eating now!" He encouraged me more.

We started eating casually and we started talking like that too. I didn't expect the atmosphere to shift this easily.

"So, you are planning to go abroad?"

He started his stories about his plan on going abroad, and has a chance to actually do it. 

"Yup, but not now...maybe in a few years more."

I nodded at him.

"How about you? Any plan on transferring or you wanna stay?"

"I plan to stay. I needed money and they paid well. It was hard but I think it was worth it."

"Right. Mahirap pero maayos silang magbigay ng sweldo, the company is probably even better than most of the companies right now." He agreed with me.