Quench My Fire

Chapter 48: She was hurting

"Doctor...what's wrong with my mother?"

"No doctor...don't...

My mother coughed... The cough didn't stop as she picked the napkin at her side to cover and wipe her mouth and I didn't miss the blood that splattered on the hand towel. My heart bled at the sight as my heart beat faster...

Her condition is worse than I thought as a tear dropped from my eye.

I wiped it off before anyone could notice except for Stefano intense stare at me.

He pulled me closer to his chest, rubbing my back calmly.

She started to cough again... I tried to hold her to calm her down but the cough wouldn't stop as a nurse walked in briskly and injected something inside her drip before she could calm down and slowly I noticed her drifting away. How long as she been like this? My hands turned to a fist as I tried to hide it behind my sweater.

"You must be the daughter...can you follow me to my office?" the Doctor implored.

I could not leave my Mother alone as I glanced back at her with her eyes on me.

I could feel the pain in them...My mother was not an emotional person, she was so good at hiding her emotions but right now...the vulnerability was so visible as tears were clouded up in her eyes.

"Don't worry about your Mother, the sedative will let her rest now" the doctor said before walking ahead of us.

I watched my Mother close her eyes before leaving to the doctor's office with Stefano still clasping my other hand tightly.

"I'm sorry to see this " Stefano broke the silence on our way to the doctor's office as I tried really hard to control my tears.

Inside the doctor's office...

"Ms. Bennett, why are you just visiting since all these years of your mother battling with Pleural Cancer?" The doctor stated in a professional tone immediately we took our sit opposite of his leather seat.

I blinked my eyes severally... First, I didn't even know she was sick not to talk of battling with the deadly disease called cancer but it was not an excuse.

It was my fault for not making effort to visit my mother all these years all in the name of grudge.

"Pleural Cancer?" I asked again to be sure I heard correctly

"Not just any pleural cancer..." He paused his lips staring at Stefano then back at me " but Pleural mesothelioma" he added making me more confused.

I mean I don't know what that is but judging from his voice, it sounds like a serious illness.

"Pleural mesothelioma is a cancer that forms in the tissue covering the lungs and chest wall and I'm very sorry to say this particular cancer is a difficult one"

he clutched his fingers together resting them on his desk as I raised my brows in question at him...

"What-what are you talking about?" I stammered trying to find my voice as Stefano squeezed my palms calmly.

"She didn't report to the hospital on time...apparently the cancer had already graduated to the stage 3 giving it the access to spread to the lymph nodes and we've tried for these last year to put her on chemotherapy to fight the cells but her body rejected it all...and right now she's on immunotherapy but..." He paused and looked at me before saying "She's not responding to treatment"

My heart sink... I can't believe my ears as tears rolled down my eyes. I tried to say something but I could not even find my voice.

"What do you mean she's not responding to treatment... I mean there's surgery or whatever treatment it maybe... No matter the amount doctor...we'll cover it please save Ms. Bennett" Stefano spoke for me as I was struggling with my inner self...

Both of regret for neglecting my Mom and not realizing she was in pain till it got this bad is something I can never forgive myself for.

"I'm so sorry sir...the cancer has metasized to the other organs of her body including her lungs which is why she's coughing persistently."

"Exactly my point doctor...can't you operate and fix her up...don't worry about the price" Stefano countered the doctor. Honestly I'm glad he's here with me as I don't know what I'll be able to do alone.

"Nothing can be done again at this point except we keep her on a palliative treatment till her body give in...I'm so sorry" He said.

I broke down from where I sat and cried my eyes out.

I know I always tell myself that I hated my Mother but deep inside I know didn't.

I was just mad at her for not giving me enough attention and always blaming me for everything that had happened to her.

I love her...I really do and I can't lose her like this.

Stefano came to my side to help me up but my body was cold.

"I can't-can't lose her" I cried on his chest as he pulled me closer...engulfing me in a soothing hug and rubbing my back calmly.

I'm sure my tears already wet his shirt but I needed his chest right now.

I moved back to her room where her skin was so pale and looked so fragile.

What kind of daughter am I? What kind of daughter neglects her mother? I was at Venice some months ago and I could not even stop by... maybe the situation might have been different if I did.

I moved closer to her sitting at the next sit to the bed.

I watched her ICU monitor checking her body temperature before my eyes went back to her other free hand held together with a thermometer.

I laced my hands gently with hers staring at her sleeping figure.

"Predonami Madre" I muttered silently as tears prickled down my face.(I'm sorry Mother)

I should have been there... I shouldn't have let my anger cloud my judgment.

I can't imagine how lonely she must have been all these years with no one to share how she's feeling to.

"I can't believe I was oblivious to her sickness for years" I mumbled as tears kept falling carelessly from my eyes.

Stefano came closer to me...rubbing my back " it's not your fault it happened Ruby"

"It is...if only I was a better daughter" I cried silently

"Shh...stop blaming yourself okay?" He bent down to knee level rubbing my laps with his hand.

"Anyone could have acted this way... You were hurting" he stated calmly.

"But she was hurting more and I didn't see it" my two palms held her fingers tightly before I placed my head on it.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to forgive myself if anything happens to her" I wept silently as Stefano rubbed my back calmly...."stop saying that...Cancer is a deadly and irrefutable disease...you can't control it so don't blame yourself it happened" he said removing my head gently, turning to face him and holding my hands calmly "instead make the remaining days count..." He pulled me up and hugged me warmly.

"I'll always be here for you" he murmured pecking my knuckles.

I decided to ask one of the questions I've been pushing back since our arrival here.

"Have you forgiven my Mom?" I mumbled under my breath on his shoulders.

He loosened the hug gently, cupping my cheeks. "Of course I have...even before she apologized" his sparking gold eyes twinkled as his lips twitched in a smile " I forgave her the moment I won back my jewel" he said before pecking me on the forehead.

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Love you, Ria🍒