This is a story of love lost and found. How broken pieces of a person can make a inspiring image.
I hope you like it.
These are my original thoughts they cannot be reproduced by anyone.
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"Kassie, you're four centimeters dilated so you can go into labor at any time." Dr. Kyle said. My doctor chose the absolute wrong month to go on vacation. I didn't want anyone else to deliver my baby. His safety is my utmost concern. Thankfully, I trusted Dr. Kyle to put that first.
"So, she has to walk around four centimeters until she goes into labor?" Steven questioned.
"We can't admit her unless she's in active labor. There are some activities that might help jump start labor like walking, squatting, sex. Any questions?"
"Nope, not today." I answered.
"Well, hopefully I'll see you at labor and delivery." Dr. Kyle said, making me smile.
"Hopefully." I replied. She walked out so I could put my pants back on.
"I'm so tired of being pregnant, going past your due date should be against the law." Baby boy was due two days ago, but he refused to come out.
"Let's try walking Kass. We could always have sex." Steven remarked with a smile on his face. We began working on our relationship three weeks ago and we haven't had sex.
Sex with Steven is more than sex. It's me submitting to him again. Honestly I don't trust him. I want to but a part of me can't. He almost destroyed me. I loved Steven beyond comprehension. Something I was afraid to do for a long time. I thought if I loved him too much he'd go away like Noah.
My mind always compared them, but my heart belonged to Steven. He took everything that I loved about him and used it against me. I knew I was wrong for lying to him, but he didn't find anything wrong with his unprofessional relationship with Evelyn until I told him I knew about it. He didn't think about me at all. He was selfish.
He knows how much his touch means to me. He deprived me of any hugs, kisses or even holding my hand for over a month. I'd touch him and he'd move away. I'd tell him I loved him and he wouldn't respond. Eventually I just stopped. I don't want to put myself in a position where he could ever make me feel that way again.
"Steven, I really want to, but I'm scared. And not of any type of physical pain."
"What are you afraid of Kassie?"
"You Steven, I'm afraid of you." He looked confused. "That you'll break my heart. It's barely together. I loved you more than anyone on this Earth. I put you above everyone because that's what you need. As soon as I went through something difficult you left me without any remorse. I know I lied to you, but you did everything to punish me for it." Tears rolled down my face. "I can't give you that kind of power again Steven. I'm not ready."
"Kassie, baby girl." Steven said, I interrupted him.
"Look at me and tell me, I'm the same person I was before you decided I was less than dirt. I know you're trying, but it's just different. I'm different." Curse these pregnancy hormones, I can't say anything without my emotions turning into tears.
