Without You

Chapter Nineteen

     I walk blindly as Oscar covers my eyes with his hands. "I'm really scared I'm going to fall. How much longer until we get there?" I ask.

"Not long," Oscar murmurs. He leans closer, and I can feel his breath on my neck. "I'll be here to catch you."

Right after that, I trip on a stone, and stumble.

"Oh shit!" Oscar rushes to catch me, but I fall to the ground, bracing myself with my hands.

I scream as I make contact with the ground. "So much for catching me. . ." I mumble as Oscar helps me to my feet. I dust off my hands that are luckily not hurt.

"Sorry," Oscar apologizes bashfully. "I'll be more careful now."

"Okay," I say, unsure.

I hear seagulls in the background, and the soft chatter of a few people. This place could be anywhere. I'm starting to get a bit excited in anticipation.

Oscar guides me the rest of the way, and tells me to lift my foot. He takes the blindfold off. "Tada," he says.

I look around, seeing the docks, and the boardwalk, and the lighthouse. I'm on Oscar's boat. He set out a basket full of snacks, and drinks for us. "Wow," I say. "This is really sweet."

Oscar smiles at my reaction. "I knew you'd love it."

"So," I say, taking a seat. "Who's boat is it?"

"My dad's," Oscar replies, untying the boat from the dock. He takes the wheel, and starts steering out into the open water.

"I always wanted a boat. It'd be nice to just go out on the water, anytime you want."

"Yeah, it is," he says. "But mostly, I like to come out here for fishing. That's why I brought fishing rods for us." Oscar gestures to the green, and blue fishing rods on the ground.

I'm at a loss for words. "Oh!" I say, fake excited. "Are we going fishing?"

Oscar chuckles. "Damn right we are! I'm gonna show you how good I am at catching fish."

"Great."

I always hated killing animals. In the 8th grade, I made a speech to the whole school about animal cruelty. I stayed passionate about it for all my life. That's why I'm a vegetarian. I know I can't really blame Oscar for this, since it's something that he likes, but this date really just went downhill already. It hasn't even been ten minutes. . .

But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Laurie: How's your date with Oscarrrrr??????

Me: We're going fishing.

Laurie: Yikes. But at least you'll have somewhere private to makeout ;)

Me: I guess

Then she sends a selfie of her, Pat, Max, and Margaret.

Me: I wish I was with you guys

Laurie: You spend literally every day with us. You'll be fine

Me: I don't know about this

Laurie: Just give it a few minutes, and then you can leave. I'm sure you won't be out there for that long

But we were. Oscar had stopped miles away from the shore, anchoring the boat. It was just us out here. Occasionally another boat passed us, or a jet ski.

Oscar had his fishing rod in the water. He had a bucket of one small-mouthed bass. I kept sparing glances at it, looking into its sad eyes. What if I just threw it back into the water?

I snuck up behind Oscar, and threw the sputtering fish back into the water.

Oscar spun around quickly at the splash. "What was that?"

I stand up, appearing startled. "The fish just jumped back into the water!"

Oscar is in disbelief. "How? The bucket is so far away from the edge of the boat?"

"I have no idea. I looked down at my phone for a second. . . and then it was gone!"

He furrows his brows, and then moves the bucket closer to him.

Now that I'm seeing Oscar, I've also seen the black eye that Max gave him. It's kind of hot now that I'm looking at it. "Sorry about. . . Max," I trail off awkwardly, lowering my fishing rod into the water.

Oscar looks back at me. "It's cool. But if we're going to keep dating, then I think you should stop seeing him. And Patrick."

"W-what?" I stutter in disbelief. "They've been my friends since we were kids. They're practically family. . . I don't think that's fair."

"And I'm your boyfriend," Oscar shoots back.

Boyfriend. That felt weird. This was just our first date. . .

"You have nothing to be jealous, or threatened of, okay? Pat, and Max are harmless," I assure him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

Oscar turns back to me, and gestures to his eye. "Harmless?"

I open my mouth, and close it. Then something tugs on Max's fishing rod, and he starts reeling it in quickly. He pulls the string out of the water, holding another bass. But it's a lot bigger than the last one. Oscar's eyes light up, and he completely forgets about our earlier conversation.

"Holy shit!" he laughs, throwing the fish into the bucket. I'm trying so hard to not express my disgust, noticing the blood dripping from the fish's mouth. "I think it's pregnant." Oscar disappears onto the other side of the boat, rummaging through his tackle box. He pulls out a knife, and walks over to the fish.

I gulp. "What are you doing?" I ask nervously.

Oscar looks up at me. "Showing you the eggs." He cuts the belly of the fish open, showing all of its gross guts, and tons of tiny little fish eggs. I can't help it, but I start to feel bile rising in my throat. I turn around hastily, vomiting over the side of the boat.

"Woah," Oscar says, running to my side. "Are you okay?" His hands come at my sides, but I push them away.

"Go away!" I yell at him, continuing to throw up.

Oscar obeys, and once I'm done, I wipe my mouth on a napkin, and take a sip of my sprite.

"Do you get seasick?" Oscar asks.

"No," I say pointedly. "I don't like gore. . ."

"Oh," Oscar says. "Sorry." He moves the fish away from my sight. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah," I say breathlessly. "But I think I just want to go home."

"Okay," Oscar says, clearly upset.