Walking the Right Path

Chapter 19

"Don't forget Poppy," Ruby said, wrapping her arm around Penelope's neck, "She won last year with Nathaniel and you don't see them getting crazy about it."

"Well that's because they're too modest," said Jennifer. "Not that it's not good to be modest. You get what I mean."

Penelope chuckled, "Guys, guys, guys, relax. I don't even know if I'll attend this year."

They all groaned in protest. Erica and Jennifer insisted that she come, they wouldn't let anything get in the way. Jennifer and Joe told her she'd have to come up with a really good reason. Nathaniel focused on the guitar in his hands, not really caring to involve himself in their bickering.

"Nonna needs someone to take care of her and—"

"I can take care of her," I said. "Don't forget I'm still an employee and can handle any house work or outside of the house work that she has for me."

"You work for Bessy?" Ruby asked.

"I'll tell you later and that'll mean you also won't attend because you'll be taking care of Nonna," Penelope said. "Plus I have work at the diner this break. I can't afford to attend. I'm sorry."

Her reasons weren't strong enough.

"Okay," Jennifer nodded and gave her a side hug. "We can understand."

"Thanks. I love you guys so much."

Does that include me?

We conversed for a little while before Miranda led us in closing prayer.

•••

Sometimes people rush to grow up. They're in a rush to run a race they're not prepared for and they end up losing. When I was younger I watched my seniors change when they weren't ready, they did things they shouldn't so people would see them as adults. But when they reached that point they began to crave for the little moments of being a child so why not enjoy it while it lasts?

And the other case is those who wait for when they're older thinking everything will get better then. When I'm in highschool I'll take my studies seriously, when I complete university I'll start taking my life seriously, when I'm twenty five I'll start planning how to set my life in order or when I'm eighteen I'll look beautiful or when I'm done with school I'll start losing weight. The procrastinations are endless honestly.

Why am I saying this?

I'm saying it because I find myself stuck between the two. I want to grow up so I can make decisions for myself and live the life I want away from my mother, and yet I keep telling myself when I reach this point I'll be able to attain certain things I want to in life. It's a contrast and it has me staring at the ceiling wracking my brain for the best possible solution.

Mrs Bessy was kind enough to accommodate me in one of her guest bedrooms. I barely said anything during dinner to which Penelope reacted by sending me worried looks. Was she scared that I've changed my mind already because I was full of smiles and laughter during the youth meeting?

It's just the question she asked that stuck with me. Will I be around in the next two weeks? Or will I go back home to my mother and live a life like I'm constricted.

I happen to like this place. Mr Richardson feels like an uncle I didn't have if not a father with him always worrying about me, Penelope's friends feel like the kind of people I need who will encourage me instead of bringing me down, Bessy feels like the grandmother I never had. In conclusion, I had built a small family and it made me feel at peace.

The thought of leaving just isn't an option.

"Hey," she said softly beside the door. "Can I come in?"