I need you

6. breath

Olivia's POV

His face is coming closer to mine and for a second I forget how to think, how to breath or do anything at all. Am I ready for this? Am I ready to kiss a man after all the years I avoided it?

Still not knowing if this a good idea I lean even closer to Charles. I need to break the distance in between us.

Now.

I can feel his warm breath on my lips and smell his perfume, which suits him so perfect. Shivers get down my spine as he laid his hands on my waist. „What are you doing to me, Olivia." he whispers. I grab the collar of his shirt trying to pull him as close to me as I could. He laughed a little noticing it. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to feel him.

I smash my lips against his, laying my hands around his neck. Of course I was excited but also scared. He is the first person I let my self get so close to and I still don't know why I trust him enough to allow it.

The kiss was the most beautiful moment I have experienced the last months. 
For this few seconds I forgot how shitty everything actually was. 

It could have turn out perfect when all of the sudden a phone starts ringing and we both drift apart. He reached for his phone in his pocket, looked at the screen an than at me. „Sorry." he said before leaving me alone in the kitchen.

He was talking in french and the few lessons I already had weren't enough to understand what he was talking about exactly. It maybe took him only a few seconds to came back but it felt like an eternity.

An eternity enough to think about what we just did.

„I'm so sorry. My mom just wanted to make sure I got home safe." 

I still was out of breath.

Was this a sign? Maybe things are happen to fast. Maybe I'm being to naive.
What if he isn't any different?

I feel like my head is going to explode. I knew it would happen. Why am I so dumb to think I got it under control?

„Olivia, are you okay?" Charles asked concerned. My puls got up so high that I felt like I couldn't breath anymore. I lay my hand on my chest trying to concentrate on myself. „Get your shit together!" I think to myself. I slide from the countertop trying to get a glas of water as I feel the first tears falling down. „Fuck fuck fuck, this is not happening right now."

A hand on my shoulder gets me back to reality. „Olivia." I turn around now look in Charles face. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, I couldn't even tell what I was thinking. „Olivia, breath!" Charles puts his other hand on top of mine that's still resting on my chest. And as he said I took a deep breath in, not realizing I weren't the whole time.