𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐑𝐨𝐜𝐤 ⋆𓇼⋆ ᴀᴏɴᴜɴɢ x ᴏᴄ

14.

⋆｡˚⋆ฅ^𓆝୨♡୧𓆝ฅ^⋆˚｡⋆ Aonung POV ⋆｡˚⋆ฅ^𓆝୨♡୧𓆝ฅ^⋆˚｡⋆

Eywa, I can't believe I'm doing this right now.

Even after seeing Ta'kari fight Koro so fiercely and almost savagely, I've never realised how small she is until now, with her thin ribcage under my hand, crouched and letting me help her.

We're also so close, I didn't mean to get this close, but I'd look like a coward backing away now.

It's not that I want to move farther from her, if anything, it's the last thing I want, but there's this insane tension, that makes it feel like one wrong movement could make everything shatter, something holding me right there, right by Ta'kari.

It's also Ta'kari herself. It's this incredible, terrifying coldness and power she radiates, so much stronger than all her moments of kindness.

I can feel her breath fanning on my face, painfully aware how close my nose is to her slightly plump lips.

I don't dare to speak, any doubtlessly clumsy words I might speak threaten to bring this all down, and then she wouldn't let me help her anymore.

Why won't she ever let me do anything. Help her. Get closer to her. Understand her. Know her.

"So why did you do it?" she asks after a few moments of tension riddled silence.

I can sense her lips moving inches away from my nose, and I am fiercely avoiding looking at her face.

"I didn't mean to," I say softly. "Koro and Ongu and Nashvi wanted to, so we-"

"Why did you do it,"Ta'kari repeats. "I don't give a shit about those stupid skxawngs."

And of course, my delusional annoying ass wonders, so you care about me?

"Because I wasn't thinking straight," I admit. "That's not an excuse, but..."

"But what?" Ta'kari asks skeptically, leaning back so I'm not dabbing her wounds anymore.

I reach to help her again, but she places a hand on my chest, stopping me and forcing me to look at her.

"But... I don't have any excuse," I whisper.

I don't know why I can't say my truth. My body and heart and soul are screaming it at the top of their lungs, but my mind blocks me from saying it.

I was jealous. 

But I know it would sound stupid. It wasn't Kiri I was mad at, how'd I even ever think that teasing her would get to her stupid fucking brother.

Neteyam was the one I-

"Oh?" Ta'kari says, glaring at me. "So you were teasing Kiri for fun or something."

"No," I say quickly. Urgently. "No. I just... wasn't thinking straight."

"No shit," she says under her breath, finally looking away.

Now I'm not caught in her intoxicating, thrilling gaze anymore, I can realise that I hadn't breathed that whole time.

"But I'm sorry," I say, catching her hand as she moves to stand up.

She inhales sharply, staring down at her small, thin hand caught in my much larger one.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen. For you to get hurt."

"I'm not hurt," she hisses, her gaze moving from our hands to my face. "He didn't hurt me."

"Ta'kari," I growl, unable to help it anymore. "Why do you insist on never having help. Why don't you ever let me-"