My Saving Grace

January 24, 2013

Alex's P.O.V. (Ignore my last point about writing it all in Scott's P.O.V. Because that isn't happening anymore! Don't judge me.)

I walked into Starbucks. My heart seemed to be beating irregularly. My hands, despite my attempts of rubbing them on my jeans every five minutes, were sweating. I was nervous, yes. I mean, this was Scott Hoying. He was amazingly talented and really funny and had the face of an angel.

I'm not a fangirl, don't worry. When I found out I was going to be at the concert I looked them up. I realised that they were the people from the Sing Off, a couple years back. I did my research, I didn't want to be going into that concert blind. I watched most of their YouTube videos and wow they were good.

I hoped that this would go okay. I didn't even know what it was. Was it a date? Or what? He didn't say it was a date. But we didn't really text that much. We just had that brief exchange of where we were going to meet up and that was it. It was more than I was expecting either way. I thought he wouldn't ever talk to me again.

I looked around the Starbucks and spotted an empty booth in the corner. After ordering, I sat down on the side of the booth facing the door. What if he doesn't turn up? What if he's actually a total douche?! We haven't even talked that much. He could be the most annoying guy ever. What if he is.....

My breath caught in my throat as I saw the door open. In walked the tall blonde figure that I had been thinking about. He wore a sweater covered in clouds and black jeans that fitted perfectly. His hair was styled into a quiff, using not too much hair gel so that it didn't look greasy. He was wearing black framed glasses also, magnifying his ocean blue eyes.

I could feel my heart pounding hard as he made eye contact with me. He smiled, a smile that reached his eyes. I smiled back, feeling my whole face stretch backwards. Don't seem too eager, Alex, I told myself.

Scott began to walk over. He sat down. "Hi." I breathed. My head was airy from looking at him. Up close he was even more beautiful. You could see the colour of his skin. It wasn't pasty or sickly looking, it was white and delicate like snow. He had dimples the size of craters on his cheeks when he smiled and that made my heart melt.

"Hi." Scott answered. And before we knew it we were talking and laughing and getting to know each other pretty quickly. I learned that his laugh was as soft and smooth as silk and I could make him laugh easily. We had the same sense of humour, which was a good start. I also learned that his smile was as bright as the sun. It shone whenever he flashed it, which wasn't near enough.

That date was the first of many to come. It went on for weeks. Different places every time. Picnics in the park. Dinner at Chipotle. Breakfast at iHop. Or simply just sitting and talking for hours on the roof of my apartment. Neither one of us daring to take our relationship any further. Neither one of us daring to take a step into the unknown. We didn't discuss our relationship in the slightest, we just enjoyed one another's company.

I found myself thinking about Scott at odd moments. In work. In meetings. At breakfast. At lunch. In the gym. Talking to friends. He was always in the back of my mind. I missed him when he wasn't around. And that was it, I missed him. We hadn't even kissed yet and I was craving his presence at every waking moment.

I then found myself worrying. Why hadn't we kissed yet? Maybe he wasn't all that into me! Maybe he just wanted to be friends! And if that was the case I had to get out now because I had no intentions of being just friends. But I haven't really made a move yet. We flirt, yeah, and we've talked about 'liking' each other but nothing more.

I had never felt so deeply for someone, so quickly. It was like an infection that was spreading through my whole body. Quickly squeezing around my heart and lungs and stomach. An infection that couldn't be reversed, even if I took medication. Even if I backed away now there was no fixing the damage it would do to my heart.

How had I fallen so quickly?!

Fallen for his eyes. His beautiful ocean blue eyes. The eyes that make the stars in the sky look average. The eyes that made my heart melt every time I met them. The eyes that lit up when he smiled. Lit up like street lights in the rain. Eyes that held secrets and emotions that I could not yet tell the translations. Eyes that I myself could swim in if I made myself small enough.

Fallen for his voice. His voice that was so silky smooth, like melted chocolate, dripping from a fountain. A voice that I demand to hear sing to me when we're out for picnics in a LA park. A voice that had sung me to sleep when we spent a day on the roof of my apartment. A voice that again held so many emotions that I had yet to learn the definitions of.

Fallen for him. His personality. The way he laughs. The way he smiles. The way he talks about the things he loves with such admiration. The way he can make me happy just by a simple text. The way he only cares for others.

I had truly fallen for him quicker than I expected. But had he for me?! I truly doubt he had and that broke my heart. I'd have to wait. Wait and convince him to give me a try. I was willing to take another step the next time I see him. Hopefully it won't go all wrong!