hexes for exes

chapter twenty-three, the things we never said

"Melody did."

Amphion glanced at her. "You know, last year. You didn't actually start losing your temper until I mentioned Melody."

"I don't mind mentioning her," Livia said. "But I despise it when she's used as an excuse for anything. It always feels like we're soiling her name, her legacy."

"I miss her."

"I think we all do."

"Everything was better when she was here. Everything. Whenever we argued she'd always know what to do. Even when you and Sarah absolutely hated each other and couldn't even stand to be in the same room, she'd somehow find a way to make you two coexist."

"It was her own little magic," Livia agreed.

"Melody Martinez was one of the best people I'd ever known."

"I think she's the best person I'll ever know," Livia laughed. "Imagine what we'd be like, if she was still here."

"I wish she was."

"But she isn't," Livia said softly. "So we're going to have to figure all of this out ourselves. Without her. Even if we absolutely hate it sometimes. There is no other choice."

"But as much as I miss her," Amphion said, sounding a little guilty, "I think a part of why our memories of her are so rosy-tinted is because they were forever frozen when we were thirteen. If she was still alive now, do you think we'd love her as much?"

"No," Livia agreed. "I think she's all of our white moonlight."

"White moonlight? Oh, I remember that term. The first love."

"I think we were all a little in love with her, one way or another."

"She's forever sealed off in those memories. I think we've all brushed away her blemishes in all these years, added a little bit of candy-coloured filter every time we revisit those memories."

"That's how it works," Livia marvelled. "Sometimes, I can't remind myself of a single bad thing about her."

"It's been five years since we've last seen her, Livia."

"I still remember crying my eyes out when we heard the news."

"I remember how empty that summer was, when we were fourteen. It was the first time I'd ever felt miserable while in Briarville."

"She wasn't there. And she was always the most important puzzle piece."

Amphion didn't reply to that. Instead he turned to the beach, at the waves gently pushing against the sandy shoreline. "I don't want to go back yet."

She followed his gaze. "You want to go down there?"

"Not into the water," Amphion muttered. "But I want a bit of fresh air. Join me?"

Livia stared at him for a moment. Under the pale moonlight, he was casted half in shadows. His grey eyes were clouded, and his body language was far tenser than Livia had realised. Everything Livia felt about all of this, he did too. She wasn't alone, she was never alone.

"Sure," she said. "But not for too long, though. I don't want my parents to worry."

He laughed humourlessly, poking through her excuse without hesitance. "Pamela hasn't even left the party yet. You'll be fine, Livia."

She didn't say anything to that, instead following him down the little path that led to the beach. She took off her heels (thank god she'd chosen shorter ones today, or she'd have been rendered unable to walk long ago), allowing her feet to rest against the cold sand.