Arcadia's Love (Book TWO)

Reflection

"I'm not going to do that, Seraphina." I whispered, moving closer towards her, not touching her, but getting close enough that she got my point. "Do you know how long you've been here?"

"I am living time you idiot, of course I know!" She snapped, but didn't shift, she kept herself pressed against the drab material. "It doesn't matter, anyway. I can't leave, not until I know I won't hurt anyone."

Oh... My Sera... She felt so lost right now, whatever her room at the last place had shown her had really broken her, broken whatever control she had, meaning that she thought she would attack anyone and everyone.

I lay down behind her, still not touching, but close enough that when I spoke, my breath moved her thick dark hair, matted and knotted at the back of her head. That happened when she had nightmare. "Seraphina Alanah..." Which last name to use? She didn't want to use Pond right now, but Dark would also take her back to her darker times, with her brother. I would have to use my last name, the one that she theoretically took when she married me. "Tate. In your vow to me, you told me that I made you smile, even when you physically couldn't. Do you remember that?"

"Of course I do, Legacy. This is so, so different. I could hurt you right now, more than just slicing your hand open in my sleep. This time I will be conscious, and I will know what I'm doing, please, please just leave."

Inching carefully closer, I put my hand on her waist, making her flinch against me, and she started shaking, physically telling herself not to do anything, to pretend that I wasn't there. "I will never, ever leave you, my Sera. After everything we have been through together, from when we first met after initiation, to fighting in the war, to finding each other in London, to getting married. That is us, fighting for each other, Seraphina."

"And I am fighting not to turn around and hurt you right now, Legacy! Please, just, just go!" She was close to tears now, and I cuddled to her again, just holding her while she was still shaking. "I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to be in here but it's safer for you, for Amy and Rory. "

Oh... She didn't know... "I sent them home, Sera. I knew that you were scared for them so I thought it would be best. Sera, I promise you, that we will get through it, just like we did last time, just like we always do."

"You just don't get it, do you, Doctor?" Sera sobbed, pulling away from me and getting to her feet. "I am not worth you saving again and again! It is always me you have to make sacrifices for, every single time, Doctor! I am not her, I am not the girl you met all those years ago, or the girl you married! Sera is dead!"

She really believed this, she believed that she was too far gone to be saved, and maybe, just maybe she was right to some extent. Maybe who she was, had died, died when her hearts broke again, over Melody. But that didn't stop me loving her. "S. Phina. Phina then. How's that? Sera, she's dead, she died when we lost Melody. But she died for Phina to come through. Because yes, I have to make so, so many sacrifices for you, but don't you ever think that you aren't worth it, Phi."

Phina stared back at me, her eyes nearly devoid of emotion, the only thing in there being fear, meaning that she still didn't want to trust herself. "Legacy, please, I'm not who you think I am..."

"I don't care what you think of yourself, I care about who I know you to be, Phi. Seraphina, I love you, please, please don't shut me out." I begged her, trying to step closer to her but she still moved away, not letting me touch her. She was still in the leggings and tank top I'd last seen her in, which told me that I had my work cut out for me. "After everything, are you really, really going to give up, my Phi?"

"I, I don't know." Phina whispered, hugging her arms tightly around herself, moving around as she was backing away from me. "But I know it's not safe for you to be around me." And then she bolted through the gap, her small frame fitting through the passage a lot better than I did trying to get back through after her. Please! Please, just don't be scared of me...