please don't go

mothers and meetings - raya

⚠️- tw verbal and physical abuse- ⚠️

"you are worthless raya" my mother says inches away from my face. a hint of whiskey in her breath.

my mothers name is angleine. she married my farther at 26 and since then they were happy. he used to get her flowers because he felt like it. he woke her up with breakfast every morning. people of my town called them the sunshine couple because they were always happy. they suited eachother in everyway but since my farther died last year my mother didnt take it very well and turned to alchahol for a coping mechanisum. this leads me today , sat on the floor mascra down my face as my mother yelled at me and my tears fell onto the floor.

"mum stop it plea-" i was stopped by a stinging pain on my face. my mother had hit me , i never thought she would be capable of that but here i am putting my convers on and running out of my house and to my car. tears running down my face

my fiat 500 was white and while i was walking to my car , waery eyes , i realised i forgot my keys. i stopped and debated walking to the libary or going to get my keys. to walk it would take an hour and i really didnt want people to see me crying so i went back to get my keys. as i walked back looking at my house i realised that im 19 years old and still living with my mum. i needed to leave but i figured that was a thought for later

i walked back slowly , wanting to take my time just incase my mother was still there. when i got to my front door i took a deep breath and carefully walked in. thankfully my mother was gone but i still cared about her so i went to check she was okay. i found her passed out snooring on the couch with a bottle of wiskey in her hands. i tiptoed over to her , trying not to wake her i took the bottle of wiskey out of her hands , turned off the tv , cleared up the coffie table and made her a glass of water for when she wakes up. i realised she was shivering a bit and drapped a towel over her , grabbed my keys and walked out.

on my drive to the libary it was piecefull. i had summertime sadness by lana del ray quietly on in the background as the rain tapped on my window lightly. it was calm and gave me a moment to slow my tears and think about my thought from earlier. i need to leave home but how?

i was 19 years old , i had a job working at a coffee show as a waitress but i hadnt got nearly enought money to afford a place on my own this is when i decided im going to start saving.

when i got to the libary i grabbed my emergency makeup kid from my backseat and wipped the mascara from my dried cheeks and made myself look like i hadnt been crying for the past hour. by the time id finished the rain was pouring but i couldnt find my umbrella.

"shit" i mumbled. i took a moment to think " screw it" i grabbed my keys from the ignition and my phone and hid them under my jumper got out the car and ran to the libarys enterance. thankfully i got there without falling over but i was still soaked in rain water.

"hello mr mitchal" i said with a shakey voice. my favourite person was at the front counter. asoon as i walked in and went behind the counter and placed my belongings down. trying to hide my face incase it looked like i had been crying . mr mitchal was the last person id want to see me crying because he was always so happy and id hate to bring his moods down. he looked at me like i was a crazy woman "whatt?"

"your getting those books behind you wet" i quickly stood up and turned around hoping i hadnt ruined them

"oh shoot sorry"

he looked at me with a smirt before he said "i was joking you fool they're going to get recicled anyways , nobody reads them" i looked at him but couldn't hold back a laugh. then we were both laughing but soon stopped when a tall figure was stood at the desk with 3 books.

he was hansome , long-ish brown hair that looked like he did nothing to it for a week , he has tattoos all up his extrealy muscular arms , his shirt was black but said black birds like it was some sort of group. he had black cargo jeans on and he was a sight for sore eyes , yes i may not have known him but what i was looking at i loved it. i was snapped out of my gaze when he said "return" and placed 3 books on the counter

his voice was deep and raspy as he looked at me then back to mr mitchal , showing no expresion. he looked like he'd just killed someone with the way he was looking at me "where's the nearest coffee shop?"

i sat there and just stared at him when mr mitchal said "oh yes my fellow friend will show you , she works there" thats when i remebered i had work i quickly looked at the time and saw i had 10 minuits before my shift starts "shit!" i snached my keys and phone from the desk , i grabbed my mystery moody man by the wrist and pulled him along with me until we got to the doors of the libary

"fuck it" i put my phone and keys and put the under my jumper , still holding mystery moody man by the wrist i ran to my car dragging him along behind me. he got in the paggenger side as i got into the drivers. when i got in i felt a gaze on my back as i sorted myself out. i looked and my mysterly moody man and he was eyeing me down. dremched from rain.

"well done princess , now im soaked" he growled. why was he so moody.

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a/n
i hope you like the first chapter and i hope you ge the same image as me when i discribe my characters , enjoy the rest of the story ily xx