Seeking Gaston Lynx Esquivel

Chapter 22

Napalunok ako ng malalim. "Of course, I am clean." I am clean but for some reason I still feel guilty. She might be thinking I am this clean and organized just like her.

"Then, good." She started arranging the flowers on the vase while I stood right beside her. She arranges it so meticulously. She is a freak clean.

Tumikhim ako ng may pumasok na tanong sa akin. "Kaya ba ayaw mong nagpapahawak? You find touching dirty to you?"

She faces me fully and stops what she is doing. Pinagkrus niya ang mga kamay sa kanyang dibdib. She looked at me like she was thinking deeply of my question.

"Partly yes, aside from that I am not comfortable. I find touching someone dirty." She then continued doing her stuff again.

Napalunok ako ng malalim sa sinabi niya. Why am I getting nervous with her responses?

"Then how about kissing? Holding hands? Paano na kapag naging tayo na? How about physical affection?" There was an urgence in my voice as I asked her.

She stopped what she's doing for the second time then continued doing her stuff again.

"I don't like touching, so no touching still…" Tuluyan akong napasinghap sa sinabi niya kaya muli siyang napatingin sa akin. "And as for kissing...I don't really like the idea of it as well...but I know you're calibre, you are a physical person."

Napalunok ako ng malalim ng lumalim ang tingin niya sa akin. "So maybe I'll consider things. Like brushing your teeth before kissing? And of course, everything needs permission. Bawal mo pa ring hawakan ako sa kahit anong parte ng katawan ko kung wala akong permiso."

My mouth hangs open with all her answers. The heck is that? Brushing before kissing?

"Then, should I brush my teeth first before we kiss?" I asked her almost ridiculously.

"Yes...millions of bacteria are inside our mouth, Gaston. Be decent enough to consider your partner too."

I gasped with her answer. There is no way I'll do that! I mean, why do I need to do it?

She looked at me with her accusing eyes and I quickly closed my mouth tightly. "Bakit hindi mo kaya? Are you after a physical relationship only?" Muli niyang pinagkrus ang mga kamay sa kanyang dibdib.

I chuckled awkwardly with her question. "Of course not...wala nga akong reklamo…"

"Then good...let's eat."

Napapikit ako ng mata ng muli siyang bumalik sa kwarto niya dala-dala ang flower vase. My shoulders instantly fell on its own as I sat down on her two seater table.

I am in love with her wholeheartedly but it doesn't mean that I am not attracted to her physical aspect. I am always horny when it comes to her, at sa kanya lang naman ako naging ganito.

And it's all on one when it comes to love. Physical touch and words of affirmation are my two main love languages, but it doesn't mean I can't control my desire towards her.

Makakaya ko naman sigurong magpigil? I mean, I've been doing it for months and I am successful. Maybe I can do it for a few years more?

We ate while she continued telling me her stories. I can't help but smile from time to time with her talkative side when it comes to working in the power plants. She really enjoys and loves doing it.

"I want to go back there again…" She lamented

Napangiti ako sa nakasimangot niyang mukha. "You will, don't worry." I cheered her up.

We finished eating and presented to clean the dishes but she looked at me like she doesn't know what I am talking about. 

"I know how to do it, Carmella."  I assured her.