Dearest - truly flung out of space

13 - Will it be okay?

It's been two weeks since I visited Carol. I am not surprised that I haven't gotten an answer from her. It was to be expected. The worst thing of it all is though that I have probably lost her as a friend too. She was so important to me and yet I thought it was a good idea to confess everything to her.

God, why am I so stupid? It was obvious that she would reject me. Everyone I liked rejected me.

Amelia has invited me to several movie dates with her but I always declined. Even Mark had reached out and asked if I wanted to hang out with them. He reassured me that I would not be a burden for their relationship. I declined again. Amelia was getting mad at me and I now felt even more guilty about the whole thing. I understand that she tries to pull me out of the dark hole I'm in at the moment but I don't think she understands that nothing can make me feel better unless it is Carol Aird confessing her feelings for me.

I've been drowning myself in self pity, work and sadness. I know damn well that this is no way on how to deal with everything but somehow it makes me forget everything for a second.

I'm currently writing an essay when my phone pings. Not once, not twice, not three times but four times. I get mad, asking myself why Amelia can't understand that I don't want to be bothered.

After exhaling I decide to check my messages. My heart stops when I see that Carol has sent me three messages. The other message is from an unknown number. I'm asking myself which scammer has found my number and wants to sell me a random product. My fingers press on the small icon, opening the message.

unknown number
Dear Y/N,
this is Abby Gerhard, Carol's best friend. Please excuse the interruption but I'm afraid I have not so good and thrilling news. Carol and I usually meet up at the end of every week to have dinner together. It's been kind of a tradition. We both always look forward to this event. However, she had to cancel our last meeting. You know Carol, she never cancells anything without a valid reason. So I called her. Please don't be angry with me or with her but she told me about your letter and that she will answer you soon. She did not talk about what you wrote but she told me, you wrote her such a heartfelt letter. She explained that she kept the letter hidden from Harge to avoid any confrontation but last night Harge was fuming so he went through her stuff. Sadly, he found the letter and of course, he confronted her. Carol denied everything he said. You probably know that she would never get you into trouble. She really appreciates you.
Carol said she wanted to leave and when she made her move to go down the stairs, she unfortunately tripped over her own foot and fell down the stairs. Harge immediately helped and brought her into the hospital. She told me to not tell you because she didn't want you to be worried about her. But I think you deserve to know about this. I'm afraid that she also isn't talking to anyone. Normally, she tells me everything that is going on in her head and the fact that she shuts herself off completely concerns me a lot. I was thinking that maybe you would be willing to visit her and maybe even get her to talk to you. I'm sure she would talk to you since you mean a lot to her. I will visit her tomorrow afternoon. Maybe I can pick you up.
Let me know what you think.
All the best,
Abby Gerhard

I freeze at the message. Carol is hurt and I wasn't there to help her. God, I am so stupid.

Thinking about it, I find myself smiling at her message. Carol cares about me and she doesn't want me to be worried about her. Little does she know that I am ALWAYS worried about her if she is not in contact with me.

I text back.

Y/N

Dear Mrs Gerhard,
thank you so much for your message. I really appreciate you telling me about Carol even though this is quite horrible news. Is she doing okay today? Should I text her? Of course, I will join you when you visit her. I have two university classes that will last until 2pm but after that I am available. I think the university is on the route to the hospital, maybe you can pick me up then? If it's not a big detour for you of course.
Y/N