(Cloud Strife x Reader x Rufus Shinra) A Bolt from the Blue

Chapter 8 - Am I enough?

Cloud is still deep in thought. "I never knew my father. He disappeared just after I was born. My mother... Sephiroth..."

Cloud suddenly clenches his head in pain, his blond spikes quivering in alarm.

"Cloud! Are you ok?" You try to keep yourself from panicking.

After a few seconds, Cloud's blue eyes clear and refocuses.

"I've noticed that I don't get the headaches around you, but just then when I tried to remember... I don't know."

"Thanks for trying." Your eyes soften. He was just about to open up to you. It would explain your feeling that if you get too close to him, he would disappear. If you touch him, his psyche is so fragile he might break.

After a pause, you venture back into the conversation. "I think it's a self-preservation thing. You don't want to be hurt. Don't want to be left alone and so you have to be the closed off one. The one to push people away. The one who cares less."

You leave your words hanging in the air and hazard a look at Cloud, worried in case you had offended him with more of your overstepping remarks.

When you get nothing back, you quickly apologise. "Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Just ignore me. I'm clumsy both physically and also with my words."

You look away, kicking yourself mentally for your big mouth.

"No. I think that's it. You've managed to read me like an open book." Cloud turns his head to fix large vulnerable eyes on yours.

His gaze disarms you and you have to move physically to be able to pull away from his magnetic presence. You sit up higher, leaning back on your hands either side of you.

"Trust me, I know how it feels to be alone and unwanted. My aunt Scarlet, made it known to me almost every time she saw me that I was dispensable. If it wasn't for her, I would be on the streets. I think that's why I have to be amiable and social with everyone, bend to their needs while suppressing my own as I have always felt like an imposter in their opulent world. I have to work hard to prove my worth to them. Even the people I am supposed to be the closest to." You blink away the emotion building behind your eyes as you continue.

"I'm grateful for my aunt to have taken me in, but it's hard to know that you are not wanted for you." You can feel Cloud's eyes on you now but you keep looking ahead.

"I guess Rufus is the first person who liked me for me... Although I do wonder sometimes if it's because we were thrust together artificially by my aunt so often when we were growing up." You muse.

At the mention of Rufus' name, you feel Cloud shift uncomfortably.

After another pause for thought.

"I just hope I'm enough." You gaze upwards.

"Enough for what?" Cloud regains his composure.

"Enough to prevent Shinra's plans. Enough to save all these people and their homes."

You feel your eyes glistening in the dim light of the night as emotions crash into you.

"...You are enough. More than enough." Cloud whispers fervently beside you.

A grateful smile flickers at your lips and you nod appreciatively at Cloud.

Eager to move onto a lighter topic, you start to point and tell Cloud about where you live on the Plate. Cloud does not say much in response but you can see his engagement as he follows your gaze with his and the small nods of encouragement show his interest in what you are telling him.

After recalling a helicopter ride that nearly ended in an accident. You animatedly use your hands to re-enact the close call. As your story comes to a close, you put your hands back down heavily to your sides when you suddenly feel Cloud's resting hand under yours. As if your actions are synchronised, you both look down at your overlapping fingers, then straight up into each other's blushing faces. You snatch your hand up, embarrassment radiating from every pore while Cloud slowly lifts his to rub the back of his head, ruffling his blond spikes in bewilderment.

You both chuckle awkwardly. Pushing past the embarrassment, you explain that it is late and that you should head back. You peep sheepishly at Cloud through your lashes and find his gaze already fixed on you. You see him catch himself and blink a few times to come back to the present.

You flush under his gaze but stand quickly as you do not know what to do with yourself. You shiver slightly in the night breeze as Cloud stands and regards you while making his way over to the ladder. He waits for you to shuffle over carefully but you insist he goes first. You did not want to hold him up. He agrees and steps down a few rungs and then kicks his feet out to slide all the way down in one liquid motion.

That was cool you think to yourself. You do not want Cloud to have to watch you slowly make your way down one rung at a time and so even though you have never done it before you decide to copy his move. Once you are a few rungs down, you take a deep breath and let go. Somehow your foot gets caught on a rung at one point and you find yourself free falling the rest of the way. You do not have time to think as you clench your eyes tightly shut, preparing yourself for the inevitable impact. However, it never comes. You open one eye to find yourself hovering safely a few feet above the ground.

When you realise that Cloud had caught you, one arm behind your back and the other tucked under your legs, you cannot help but giggle. You throw your arm over your eyes to hide from Cloud's amused stare.

"Thanks," You mutter suppressing your laugh as Cloud sets you down gently back on the ground. You smell his fresh scent, triggering memories of when you first met.

"I need to practise that a bit more." You add, chuckling shyly at Cloud.

He nods.

"But only when I'm with you." He follows up unexpectedly.

His intimate words leave you speechless so you just timidly nod your head in agreement.

On the walk back to Seventh Heaven, you ask Cloud what he is up to tomorrow and he says that Chocobo Sam has a job for him. At the mention of the word chocobo, your face lights up and you plead to Cloud to take you along. Cloud says he will think about it in the endearing way he does when he feigns disinterest.

"Thank you for a lovely night, Cloud." You say to him with a small smile as he walks you back. You head into Seventh Heaven feeling his gaze on your back as you close the door behind you.