I sat at the kitchen island with Tristan on my lap, and Aaron sitted next to me. Ginna was making us her famous homemade pasta sauce for spaghetti to celebrate.
"You guys are going to love this." She says.
"Since when do you cook?" Aaron asks her while feeding Tristan dry cherrios.
"Since always." She answers.
"Sure about that?" Aaron answered.
Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door.
"Who the hell is that?" Ginna asks.
"I'll get it." Aaron says, getting up and kissing Tristan's head.
"So how long have you been seeing my son?" Ginna asks me.
"Oh, um, I don't know a couple of months, I guess maybe a year." I say to her.
"You guess?" She asks.
"Yeah, he helped me recover during my accident, so the timelines in a little blured." I explain.
"Accident?"
"Yeah I got hit by a drunk driver." I answer.
"I didn't know. I'm sorry."
"Oh no, it's okay um we're-
"Leah." Aaron says from the kitchen doorway.
I turn around to look at him, but his facial expression is hard to read.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"It's for you." He says softly like he's nervous.
Ginna exchanged confused glances, and I hesitantly got up. I placed Tristan in his new high chair and approached Aaron.
"What's going on?" I ask him again, but he looks at me like he's not sure what to say.
Without another word, Aaron leads me to the front door, and the sight that greets me nearly knocks the wind out of me. A soldier stood in the doorway, his uniform crisp and immaculate.
His face was a mask of grim professionalism, but his eyes held an echo of sadness that made my heart clench. He was holding something in his gloved hands, a neatly folded American flag and a dog tag necklace that glinted dully in the fading sunlight.
"No." I mumbled.
My breath hitched in my chest as I looked at the dog tags. They were Joshie's. My baby brother, the one who had joined the army right out of high school, brimmed with dreams of serving our country. I felt a knot tightening in my stomach, a sense of foreboding that I couldn't explain.
"We tracked your new location from one of your colleagues." He said in a respectful tone.
"No.." I said.
"Ma'am," the soldier began, his voice a low, respectful murmur that did nothing to mask the seriousness of his words. "I'm Sergeant Daniels. I'm here on behalf of the United States Army. I regret to inform you..."
My heart pounded in my ears, drowning out the rest of his words. No, this couldn't be happening. Joshie was coming home next week to see me graduate from law school. This had to be a mistake.
I shook my head, my voice trembling as I interrupted him. "No, no, you must be mistaken. Joshie's supposed to be coming home next week. He's... he's going to see me graduate. He's fine. He has to be."
Sergeant Daniels gaze softened, his expression filled with empathy. "Ma'am, I understand this is difficult to accept. I wish it were a mistake."
Tears streamed down my face, but not a sob came from my mouth.
"How?"
"Killed in an ambush. I was with him... he... he was very brave, and he died heroicly saving the rest of us. I'm truly sorry for your loss."
He saved them.. but not himself..
My heart shattered into a thousand pieces, the denial giving way to a tidal wave of grief. I stumbled backward, my hand instinctively clutching the door frame for support. Tears streamed down my face as I struggled to comprehend the words he had just spoken.
"No... no, this can't be happening," I whispered, my voice choked with anguish. "He can't be gone. He can't."
Sergeant Daniels took a step closer, his voice filled with compassion. "I know it's hard to believe, but I'm here to offer support and assistance. If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to reach out."
He was going to come home... after all these years... he was finally going to come home..
I nodded, my voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you, Sergeant Daniels. I... I appreciate your help."
"One more thing.." He said and pulled out an envelope. "He was writing this before he.. it's for you."
I took the letter with shakey hands and nodded.
He offered a solemn nod and salute before turning to leave, leaving me standing there, clutching the folded flag and Joshie's dog tags. The weight of the truth settled heavily on my shoulders, but a part of me still clung to the hope that this was all a terrible mistake.
I couldn't accept that my brother was gone. Graduation would come and go, but Joshie wouldn't be there to see it. And the pain of that loss was more than I could bear.
Aaron placed a hand on my shoulder, and I turned around to see him and Ginna staring at me with pity.
"Leah.."
I shake my head and wipe my tears. I wanted to scream. I wanted to let all the anger and sadness out, but I couldn't. The most I could do was cry. I can't risk losing another baby along with my brother.
"I'm fine." I say to Aaron and plastered a smile on my face, but the tears kept coming.
He stepped forward, but I stepped back.
I don't want to be touched right now..
"Leah, you're not fine." Aaron says.
"No, but I have to be." I answer.
"No, you don't." He says.
"I... I want to be alone." I say to him, and I can tell he's hurt, but he nods and gives me space to pass.
I make my way up the steps sobbing softly while still clutching the flag to my chest.
"Mommy." Tristan says from Ginna's arms, but I can't hold him right now.
Leo follows behind me, and as soon as I enter the bedroom, I close the door and break down in tears.
Leo whimpers and places his head on my lap, letting me cry.
____________
I cried while writing this. I'm an easy crier.
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