Because we're two different people.

Ben's secret

ELIZA POV: THE NEXT MORNING 

The sound of chirping birds woke me up. When I noticed I was holding something, I didn't look. I closed my eyes again, and slowly rubbed my fingers over the rough texture of what I was holding. Then it hit me, it was his shirt. Inspector Sullivans shirt. Shit, what was I thinking last night, actually accepting it. Shit shit shit, I should give it back. 

I groaned when suddenly someone knocked on my door. I wasn't dressed innapropiate, I was wearing a T-shirt and some shorts. I quickly hid the shirt when the door opened. It was Ben, he was smirking.

'Morning sunshine', he said teasingly, 'Shut up already', I replied with a grumpy voice.

He sat down on the bed and looked at me without saying anything. After a while, he finally seemed to have made up a question; 'Where were you last night?', my eyes immediatly found his. I hadn't thought of this question before. What was I going to say? 

'Out', it was the first thing that came to mind, 'In a shirt, without asking me to join you?', I'm pretty sure I was starting to blush

'Yes. Is there a problem with that?', I honestly hoped he'd let it rest, but ofcource he didn't, 'Why were you wearing a shirt?', he was becoming suspicious, 'Because I can, it's not illegal for a woman to wear a shirt, is it?', the sarcasm in my tone was obvious.

'It's too big for you, I mean, did you even take a proper look at the shirt before putting it on?', he was just teasing me at this point...atleast I hoped so.

'So what if it is, I found it on the street, I don't care if it's too big, it's free and it's clothing', I made a point with that, and I wanted him to stop talking about it. The more he continued to ask me such stupid questions, the more I was starting to feel bad. He was the kind of person you could tell everything, and I didn't. I was being dishonest. I didn't like that, I did not like lying to Ben. But he can't find out it's Sullivans. 

'Breakfast's ready', he must've realised I didn't want to get deeper into it, because whilst saying that, he got up and shut the door. He gave me a soft smile before he did so. 

Concentrate Liz

Ben wasn't staying in the presbytery, at least not at night. He stays in a little hotel down the street. 

I got ready and left the shirt on my bed. I put om some wide jeans so they wouldn't stick to my legs, and a striped T-shirt. Everyone always said, and especially Bunty, that blue, white and sage green suit me. 

I didn't see Bunty often. She's in London, the city of life, that's how she describes it. We write to each other, that's what we do. I'm planning on visiting her, London seems like an amazing place, I've barely been there though. 

Before the war, I lived in Oxford with my parents. Lovely, they were. I used to spent my days rotting away in the library, it was like a paradise. I played outside with my friends and only came home for dinner. When the war broke out, my father who was already in the army, got called to fight at the front. I missed him, I mean, I was 16 years old and had a good bond with my dad. 

My mom was devastated when in 1943, he died. I took care of her as good as I could but eventually, in 1944, she died of literal pain. She became physically ill. Each day she got worse. I had to stay strong for her, and so I did. I was sad for a while when she died, but also happy, she had lived a good life. She had loved and lost, and that was enough for her. 

I don't really think about them anymore, father Brown was a good friend of my parents, he always had been. When I was a little kid, he used to tell me fun horror stories. We would spend nights laughing and playing games. To me he's like an uncle. When my parents died, and he found out, he offered me to stay with him and the rest, this was in 1945. I was nervous at first, but this is my home now, and I love it here.