Lost In The Fray

Fifty Four

Nia

I squint against the bright light of the hospital. I hate waking up here. There's no waking up gradually when I feel like it. Everything about it is forcing me awake. The septic smell. The beeping. The panicked speaking.

Why can't it just be black and silent?

A hand runs down my arm, and I no longer mind that I'm fully awake.

Milo.

I turn my head, searching him out. He's sitting on the chair, pulled up to the bed, his phone propped up against my hip.

"Morning, beautiful," he mutters as his fingertips continue to run up and down my arm, leaving goosebumps. The corner of his mouth lifts in that soft way I love.

"Aren't you bored of watching me sleep yet? I feel like that's all I do."

Milo shakes his head.

"Never. Besides, it gives me some time to revise." He indicates to his phone. I tense and attempt to sit up in a fluttery panic. Confused and concerned, Milo rises. "Are you in pain?"

"No. When are your exams? You shouldn't be here."

He sags in relief. "It's fine. I've had PE. Biology is tomorrow."

"I shouldn't be -"

Milo flattens his hand over my mouth to shut me up. "I see you for like an hour a day, Nia. I've been revising non-stop for weeks. I need the break. I can manage an hour today."

That's when I notice the dark circles around his eyes. The way his eyelids dip slightly below his eyebrows. "You're not sleeping."

"I'm sleeping enough. It's just exam stress. Don't worry about me." He leans over and presses a quick kiss on my forehead. "I'm fine," he reassures me. "Actually." A smirk I haven't seen in some time slides up his face, and I narrow my eyes. "I'm much better than fine after last night."

"What happened last night?"

He straightens, still smug, and peers down at me as he folds his arms. "I knew you wouldn't remember."

"Remember what?" Panic begins to flutter in my throat at his words, and I fight to stay calm. I have to wrestle with my thoughts not to give me away. He can't be talking about what I think he is. He can't be. That was a dream. Wasn't it?

"What you said to me before you fell asleep." If possible, his grin grows wider at whatever it is my face is doing, clearly it's giving me away. "You do remember."

I groan. I hate how the medication blurs the line between realities.

"No," I say, but we both know it's not believable. I keep my stare, refusing to back down.

"Do you want me to remind you?" He leans an arm on either side of my hips and leans in.

"No." I squeeze my eyes shut as if it will protect me from the truth.

His lips trace my jaw as he replies. "Not even the first letter?"

"No." I press my fingers into my ears and turn my face into his arm. I silently curse my lack of hands. I need to push him away at the same time as pulling the sheets over my head without releasing my ears.

"Nia, move your hands." His fingers enclose around my wrists, and I squirm as I try to get out of his hold. I can feel him chuckling above me.

His lips skim my cheek, and it's so tempting to turn into him.

"Nia, I want to tell you something." His lips move against my skin, and my eyes open at their own will. I move my hands over his mouth to stop him talking.