EXILE//Grayson Hawthorne [3]

Chapter 9 - Betty

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"If you kiss me
Will it be just like I dreamed it?
Will it patch your broken wings?
I'm only seventeen
I don't know anything
But I know I miss you
Standing in your cardigan
Kissing in my car again
Stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you."
- Taylor Swift
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Jess's P.O.V

When I woke up the next morning I knew I was fucked.

I had kissed Grayson again. I had kissed him when I was engaged.

I had been surprised when my mind eventually stopped telling me what a terrible person I was and let me sleep. Not that I felt that I deserved to have the luxury of a good sleep. I had cheated on one of the people I care the most about.

Saying yes to his purpose was supposed to let go of all those thoughts of Grayson at the back of my mind and ease Alex's worries of me and Grayson. But instead, I had only backed up the statements Alex had made.

I had proven his point all of his suspicions that I still cared for Grayson.

And I did, I still cared for Grayson. It was an impossible fact to hide.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. I knew I couldn't face Alex or Grayson after what happened, knew that if I did, I would tell them everything. I would admit that I still loved Grayson and I would tell Alex that I couldn't marry him.

But how was I supposed to say something like that without messing things up more than they already were?

I couldn't watch Alex's wide smile fall down into a mask of betrayal and disappointment. I couldn't tell Grayson that it had been him all along without feeling like all the pain we put one another through as pointless.

I couldn't say anything that was floating around in my mind.

So I didn't, not to Grayson or Alex anyway.

...

I barged into Avery's room without a knock or warning that I was coming in.

I looked around the room, tears threatening to fall out of my eyes. I was about to break down and I needed someone I could trust, someone who wasn't going to tell everyone.

In my search for Avery I found Libby as well. My two sisters stared at me with shock in their eyes. I was about to open my mouth and blurt our everything that was going wrong in my life when I saw the bag hanging from Avery's hand and the way Libby and Avery had been circling around it.

I gulped down my tears and words, realizing that Avery was going through much more than I was. She was trying to find Toby Hawthorne--the person she considered her father--and I was about to put all my problems of Grayson and Alex onto her.