Rio and Polly

Epilogue: Actions Speak

A few years later...

There was a point when Polly was on her Revenge Tour of Torment that I was terrified I'd lost her forever. I'd convinced myself, looking at those pictures she was posting -- of her with that asshole Hill and those two Joe bastards and that fucker Sir -- that she'd never forgive me. That'd I'd already used up all the grace she had to give and the well had run dry. But out of everything she'd done, it was Polly covering up the tattoo of our entwined initials that made it feel like my heart had been cut out of my chest. That spoke the loudest to me. Our matching tattoos had been a symbol of our commitment to forever, and she'd wiped hers out of existence. Essentially, because of the way I'd been acting and treating her, she'd had to erase our future.

That didn't speak to forgiveness.

And, even worse, I wasn't sure I deserved the forgiveness of this woman I loved more than anything and had treated so horribly, so casually. Taking Polly for granted, assuming she'd stick around just because we made promises to each other, was a direct shot to her heart, a slap in her face, an insulting reward for her loyalty. Maybe Polly had it in her, but could I even ask for it?

When it seemed like my future happiness was out of my hands and out of my control, it forced me to take a look at my life, and the years ahead of me without Polly looked grim. I'd wanted celebrity not for the usual reasons but to achieve our goal of bringing music to children who might otherwise never have the chance to experience it and explore their talents. To showcase adults who just wanted an opportunity to shine. To make contacts in the industry with people who might be willing to help and support our efforts.

I could have given up and walked away, but this was Polly, the woman who was so entrenched in my soul that I couldn't think about a life without her in it. So I straightened myself out, focused on the only thing that mattered -- Polly -- and refused to give up. I had to show her that I might have royally fucked up, but I was going to do everything I could to win her back.

Our problems began with my rise to fame so that was what needed to go. Simply put, I was happy to walk away and go back to the way of living that felt right to me. Polly needed to see I was done with that artificial life and ready to return to our real lives, the ones that mattered.

She still loved me, that much I was sure of. But loving me didn't mean I got a free pass to treat her as a secondary character in my life, no matter why or how temporarily. Asking Polly to believe my promise that I'd never treat her that way again required a huge leap of faith, even if I was giving her reasons to believe that I'd never act that way again.

When I'd left that final guitar, I'd been holding my breath that the symbolism of the guitars and the notes I'd left with each of them would show her my heart and the Regret songs would speak my remorse straight into her heart. It'd been the hardest thing in the world to wait to go to her. I wasn't a man inclined to wait, which is how I'd started this whole mess. So I had to take a deep breath and give her time to think things over. Show Polly I would be patient, show her that I'd wait forever for her and stop pushing her like I had been.

I'd looked up as she'd walked into the foundation that day and when she told me she didn't need a couple of days to think because she'd already made her decision, I discovered I couldn't read her. That had made me nervous because I'd always been able to read my girl and now, I had no idea which way she was going with her decision. The overwhelming relief and gratitude I'd felt when she showed me the new key tattoo with our initials on it eventually became a song about a man whose future was hanging in the balance because of the stupid decisions he'd made -- and it turned out to be one of my most successful singles. Guess there were a lot of people out there who could relate to making stupid decisions.