Rio and Polly

Chapter 15: The Key

There is a feeling I'd heard mentioned before about the lightness of being, but I didn't really know what it meant. I'd been at a party my agent had wanted me to attend, and there were a bunch of artists, songwriters, actors and writers there. They were discussing this concept and, while most of the conversation went over my head, I understood the basics.

But the minute Polly stepped into my arms backstage after her appearance on Greyson's show and let me hold her, I knew what that phrase felt like. It was like driving in your pickup on a beautiful sunny day, getting to the top of a hill and being able to see the valley spread out below you, the sun hitting it all in such a way that everything glowed -- and for just a minute, just a brief, transporting minute of your life, your soul experienced perfection in that moment of time.

Having Polly in my arms brought me that feeling, that lightness in my soul. Wondering if she'd let me keep holding her forever, I had to force myself not to hold her too tightly even though I wanted to make it impossible for her to break free of my hold.

I was surprised as hell when she let me hug her after what I'd done to her. As always when I thought about how I'd hurt her, I mentally kicked myself. If I couldn't win her back, I'd be wallowing in regret for the rest of my life.

You should have never taken the shortcut, Rio. You should have never agreed to a fake relationship, never pushed Polly. The shit she's suffered because of you is unforgiveable and yet that's what you're asking her to do.

Then, because I was terrified she'd come to her senses and never let me near her again, I rested my cheek against the top of her head. Just in case. Just in case this was the last time I held my entire world in my arms.

I love you. I love you, and I hurt you because I chased fame so I could get money, and I had it all backwards. All I needed was you, Polly. I had what I needed, every damn thing I needed, in you. I could have been patient and waited longer to achieve our goals, but I thought I could cross the finish line faster taking my path.

All too soon, Polly pushed back from me and then stepped away, almost as if she were afraid that she'd jump back into my arms the way she always used to. We used to stop hugging and then, with a laugh, she'd launch herself at me again and throw her arms around my neck.

I don't want to let go! she'd whisper in my ear with an adorable little laugh as my arms wrapped around her.

From the look on her face, Polly was remembering our little ritual, too.

"I meant it, Polly," I said. "You were amazing on the show. Your message was perfect, and I hope it makes people really start to think."

"I felt like I was rambling and not making any sense," she said. "I knew I was forming words, but I could have just been saying blah blah blah for all I knew."

"No, darlin', every word out of your mouth was gold. One hundred percent perfect and to the point. I predict a lot of sound bytes out of your message to the world."

"Not sure about the world, Rio."

"Well, I am sure, Polly. After what Danielle did to you and her nastiness went viral, the response to her bullying was even more widespread. Women are standing with you in every country, and they all wanted to see how the woman at the center of it would respond. And, darlin', respond you did. They got to see you answer the shit that Danielle pulled with grace and dignity and strength. You owned it. You looked that bitch in the face and you stared her down."

"I think that was more you, Rio."

Shaking my head, I refused to let her lessen her victory tonight on the show. "No, Polly. I just set the record straight; you delivered the important message, the big takeaway from the shitstorm she created. Everyone already got to see how gorgeous you are on the outside when she released the pictures of you. Now, after tonight, they're going to know you're every bit as beautiful on the inside. I'm so proud of you."